One minute, you are talking, and everything seems fine, and then they are just…gone.
You suddenly find yourself left on read.
Your texts, phone calls, and DMs go unanswered.
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You might even be shocked to find they’ve blocked you altogether.
You’re left wondering, WTH happened?
The mental health effects of being on the receiving end of these actions can be very challenging.
At a Glance
Being ghosted sucks, but it’s increasingly common in today’s dating culture.
The key thing to remember is that it’s not about you.
People ghost for all kinds of reasons.
They might be insecure, scared of conflict, or unable to communicate their feelings.
Skip the blame and shame.
Instead, concentrate on taking care of yourself.
Do things that bring you joy, but don’t minimize your feelings.
Why Do People Ghost?
People ghost for a variety of reasons.
Relationship experts and psychologists agree that people who ghost are avoiding an uncomfortable situation.
Sometimes, they don’t think discussing a situation is necessary, or they become scared.
Ghosting is a passive way to withdraw.
Others ghost because now that its common, it’s an almost justifiable way to exit a relationship nowadays.
In todays dating culture, ghosting is common.
After all, you risked for the sake of growth and it backfired.
While ghosting feels so personal, its not about you.
Because you usually cant find a cause and there is no explanation furnished, you may blame yourself.
You might want to put up walls so you dont get hurt again in the future.
Or you may tell your friends you will stop dating completely, using acognitive distortionlikeall-or-nothing thinking.
Now is the time to regroup, be kind to yourself and take a break.
You are not to blame for someone walking away without a peep.
Nor is it your fault that the other person couldnt maturely give you the truth.
Nix the Shame
Shame comes about sometimes when we are reminded of previous rejections.
But is ghosting rejection?
“Ghosting carries an echo of old rejection,” saysMeredith Gordon Resnick, LCSW.
“Understood this way, we can see why self-compassion is in order,” she says.
Choose Self-Care
How do you move forward?
You need self-compassion and self-care.
Invest in time with friends and family who can support you.
you could also try homeopathic treatments or acupuncture.
Proper acupuncture treatment can also facilitate recovery and take the edge off the difficult feelings."
When you think of the ghoster, be sure toreframeyour ideas about them and the relationship.
After all,theyviolated the contract of what it takes to be in a mature,healthy relationship.
That includes mutual respect, good communication, and thoughtfulness.
Therefore, this wasnt the right person for you, anyway.
Therefore, if youre emotionally exhausted and stressed, where do you start in taking care of yourself?
And any form of exercise, even just walking, is a potent natural anti-depressant.
If youruminatetoo much, usean app to increase mindfulness or begin a meditation practice.
Leopold suggests you dont forget about finding meaning and purpose.
What Does Ghosting Say About a Person?
Ghosting says a lot about the person in many different ways.
It could also signal that they may not care about their actions and are inconsiderate or unreliable.
Or, it could be none of the above.
Whatever the case may be, being ghosted is not a reflection on you or your worthiness.
Nor should it render you powerless.
Is Ghosting Emotional Abuse?
You don’t know to make sense of the experience or have an opportunity to express your feelings.
This cowardly act, unfortunately pretty normalized by our culture, can cause immense pain.
As you have no clue about what happened, your mind first jumps to many possibilities.
Was your new love interest injured in a car accident?
Is their family okay?
Maybe its just a crazy busy time at work, and they will contact you again soon?
You might feel a wave of different emotions: sadness,anger,loneliness, confusion.
Mental health professionals find that no response is especially painful for people on an emotional level.
You feel helpless and shunned without information that could guide your understanding.
Research has found that ghostees are often left with feelings of sadness and hurt.
Takeaways
Being ghosted might result in exhibiting a variety of negative emotions and questioning yourself.
Don’t play the blame and shame game.
Hold your head up high, hold onto your dignity, and let them go.
Someone better could be out there looking for you.
Practice self-care and build your resilience during this painful time.
Personal experiences and attitudes of daters.
2024;164(3):367-386. doi:10.1080/00224545.2022.2081528
