This makes it easier to take the next step:becoming more vulnerablewith the people you care about most.
Examples of vulnerability include sharing your emotions, talking about your mistakes, and being honest about your needs.
Vulnerability is associated with a number of challenging emotional states.
Verywell / Theresa Chiechi
For example, it can play a role in disappointment, shame, and grief.
The fear of vulnerability is also related to afear of rejectionand afear of abandonment.
Examples of Vulnerability
What does vulnerability look like?
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As they grow and mature, however, they may learn that the world can be a painful place.
Not everyone is on their side, and not all situations are going to go their way.
Self-Protection
Over time, then, they may also practicedifferent defense mechanismsto protect themselves.
Although these steps are normal and natural, they are also self-defeating.
It is important tolearn from past mistakesand tostrive for personal growth.
It is equally important to learn toforgive your own lapses.
This leaves many peoplefeeling isolated and alone.
Some become intentionally buried in work, school, or other activities.
Or they disappear at the firstsign that a relationship is becoming intimate.
Others perform an elaborate dance of push-and-pull.
They draw in a potential partner, only to pull away emotionally when the other person gets too close.
Then, once distance has been reestablished, they draw that person back in.
The fear of vulnerability can also lead people to inadvertently cause pain to others.
How to Be Vulnerable
Fortunately, there are many actions you could take to be more vulnerable.
You’ve been hurt before, so you may want to minimize the risk of being hurt again.
Loving yourselfis one of the toughest lessons you will ever face.
Everyone has flaws, imperfections, embarrassing stories, and past mistakes they wish they could forget.
People are insecure, awkward, and desperately wishing they could change certain things.
That’s human nature.
The trick is to realize that everyone feels this way.
Aim for Excellence, Not Perfection
Think of the most dynamic, capable person you know.
What if this person said something foolish?
Would you hold a grudge?
What if that person snapped at you?
Would you find that unforgivable?
That’s not what you remember them for.
You remember their triumphs and shining moments and love and light.
Why treat yourself any differently?
Why beat yourself up for the things that you easily and quickly forgive in others?
Why automatically assume that others will judge you more harshly than you judge them?
Treat yourself the same way that you would treat a friend or loved one.
Show yourself the empathy and compassion that you would show others in your life.
Apologize to anyone you feel you have significantly wronged, then move on.
Using your past for good is one of the strongest ways to connect with your entire self.
We worry that if we don’t somehow earn our keep, people will stop caring for us.
Avoid Being a People-Pleaser
Remember that you’re free to’t be everything to everyone.
Trying to be apeople-pleaseronly hurts you.
Offer the most precious gift of allyourselfrather than trying to be all things to all people.
However, getting from here to there isn’t always easy.
Professional assistance may be helpful, particularly if your fear of vulnerability is deep-seated and long-lasting.
Many peopleseek the advice of a respected mental health professional, while others find solace in spiritual counseling.
Whatever path you choose, finding freedom from the fear of vulnerability is a truly life-changing experience.
Boublil E.The ethics of vulnerability and the phenomenology of interdependency.J British Soc Phenomenol.
Thompson S, Deaner K, Franco MG.How to help clients make friends.J Health Serv Psychol.
2018;14(3):710733. doi:10.5964/ejop.v14i3.1564
