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Being spontaneous involveschanging up your routine with your partner.
You might choose to plan something new or unexpected.
Acts of spontaneity heighten the excitement in relationships.
Sarah Mason / Getty Images
For some people, acting spontaneously can be scary.
Individuals who fear a negative outcome can have trouble doing something new.
You might feel like youre risking the loss of your security blanket.
Other individuals fear that making a change, even a small one, could mean losing control.
Don’t Be Afraid of Rejection
Lets say youre in a long-term relationship.
You feel like things are getting stale and distant between the two of you.
If youre honest with yourself, yourebored.
But proposing something novel feels like a big risk.
What if your partner thinks this is a terrible idea?
You know youre apeople-pleaserorfear rejection.
Youre afraid it doesnt pan out, youll feelguiltor shame for suggesting it.
Because of your partners criticism or your own negative self-talk, you are pessimistic.
You believe you will suffer the consequences of any misstep.
Or suddenly showing up for lunch at their partners office.
Those withambivalent attachment stylesmight avoid arguments.
They might be questioning if their partners even love them.
They dont want to rock the boat and take the initiative by being spontaneous.
They feel too vulnerable.
Youre not constrained by fears, conflicts or rigid thinking.
Those who worry about making a mistake might also worry about what others will think.
Its easier to try new things if youfeel good about yourself.
This can stop you from taking the next step in your career or deepening your relationship.
According to a recent studyrumination doesnt only negatively impact your mental health and increase your emotional distress.
This persistent focus on negativity affects your physical health as well.
Current findings show that rumination relates to somatic problems too, especially intensification of pain symptoms.
Rumination results in poor clinical outcomes, too.
You might, for example, decide in the moment toinitiate sex.
Of course, get consent and honor boundaries.
Intimate sexis marked by caring, closeness and connection.
Intimacy and sex can be intertwined.
Creating novel experiencesandspicing up your sex lifewill rekindle feelings of love.
It takes us out of our routines and reminds us about our deep ties.
Its a proven way to improve our relationships.
Learn to Be More Spontaneous
Revitalize your romance by making your relationship a priority.
Remind yourself what first brought you to your partner.
Its natural to even take each other for granted.
It could be time tolet go of a relationship that is stressing you out.
Sansone RA, Sansone LA.Rumination: relationships with physical health.Innov Clin Neurosci.
2012;9(2):29-34.
National Alliance on Mental Illness.Anxiety Disorders.
2018;35(4):557-576. doi:10.1177/0265407517743076