“I really didn’t mean it that way!”
You never intended to come off that way, so what went wrong?
Interpreting a direct statement as rude can lead to conflict and miscommunication.
Verywell Mind / Getty Images
By learning more about direct communication styles, we can extend grace to those who are misperceived as rude.
We can avoid miscommunication related to tone and perception that do not match intent.
We can make those three conversations more consistent by better understanding how directness can be misperceived as rudeness.
Direct communicators are straight-to-the-point, open, and honest.
At the same time, they can be blunt, which can come across as harsh.
Rude communication comes up whenever someone is insulting or impolite.
Experience and internalized bias can impact whether we perceive someone as rude versus direct.
Direct communicators can also struggle to understandindirect communication.
Someone who is used to simply saying what you mean might not pick up on indirect cues or hints.
Intent Versus Perception
There are times when intent is not relevant.
This tone policing aims to silence someone from calling out systemic harm.
When someone is accused of being rude, it is easier to ignore their message.
Neurotype (referring to someone beingneurodivergentor neurotypical) also impacts communication style and how someone is perceived.
When someones communication style seems rude, focus on the underlying message rather than the intent behind their words.
What’s Your Communication Style?
If you want to know what your communication style is, take this free quiz and find out!
Blaming someone who experiences systemic harm for how someone perceives theircommunicationis unproductive and unhelpful.
Our interpretation of someonescommunicationis influenced by culture, neurotype, and identity factors.
Being mindful of these biases can streamline communication and prevent mislabeling direct communication as rude.
Additionally, those who might be more abrasive in theircommunication stylecan work to be direct without crossing into rudeness.
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