From the perspective of a friend, these relationships can seem intense, confusing, and conflicted.
How do you make sense of it while still trying to be a good friend?
It’s important to acknowledge that being friends with someone with BPD will probably never be simple or easy.
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BPD has no cure, but it can get better with the proper treatment and support.
Verywell / Theresa Chiechi
Educate Yourself About Borderline Personality Disorder
Knowledge really is power.
This understanding can also help you know how to support and respond when things start to get rocky.
Verywell / Theresa Chiechi
Of course, recognizing the symptoms doesn’t always make them easy to deal with.
However, it can help you develop ideas for coping and taking steps to protect your mental well-being.
In fact, research suggests thatsocial supportcan make all the difference.
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One way you might support them is to listen and validate how they are feeling.
What you could do, however, is listen and acknowledge the difficulty of their feelings.
Emotional validationdoesn’t have to be hard!
Start by giving them your full attention and listen carefully to what they are saying.
This key in of validation can be particularly important for people with BPD.
In many cases, people with they may have grown up inemotionally invalidating environments.
As a result, having someone actually care about how they feel can be powerful.
Leave it to the professionals to decide whether there is a serious risk of harm.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor.
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
If this happens only occasionally, it is usually fine.
Most relationships ebb and flow; they cant always be an even 50-50 split.
If you give too much, you may start to feel resentful or burnt out.
Of course, that’s usually a lot easier said than done.
It requires assertive communication skills and sufficientself-awarenessto understand when it is time to pull back a bit.
Takeaways
Being friends with someone who has BPD can sometimes feel like being on an emotional roller-coaster.
One day, you are theirfavorite person, and the next, you are personal non grata.
Even though you want to be a caring and supportive friend, it’s rarely easy.
Last (but certainly not least), ensure you take care of yourself.
Being there for your friend means being there for yourself, too.
Brune M.Borderline Personality Disorder: Why ‘fast and furious’?.Evol Med Public Health.
2016;11(8):e0160515.
doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0160515
Biskin RS.The lifetime course of borderline personality disorder.Can J Psychiatry.
2018;41(1):e1-e9.
doi:10.4102/curationis.v41i1.1892
Gunderson, JG.Handbook of Good Psychiatric Management for Borderline Personality Disorder.
Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing; 2014.
