That’s a real power move.
Friendship is a skill you’re free to work on and get better atjust like anything else.
What Makes a Good Friend?
Alina Rudya/Bell Collective / Verywell Mind
Being a good friend isn’t about always knowing the perfect thing to say or throwing epic birthday parties.
It’s aboutpresence, curiosity, and consistency.
“Being a friend is about being present, aware, and accepting,” saysDr.
Andrew Kahn, a psychologist and associate director of behavior change and expertise at Understood.org.
“Nothing feels better than being able to be ‘your whole self’ in front of another person.”
Founder of Menlo Park Psychiatry & Sleep Medicine,Dr.
Alex Dimitriua psychiatrist and sleep medicine specialistagrees.
In other words: You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to be willing to show up withempathyand curiosity.
Strong friendships are associated with positive mental well-being, even in people who faced adversities in their childhood.
On the other hand, social isolation is bad news for our health.
In 2023, the U.S. Loneliness isnt just solved by having good people around you, but by having quality connections with those people.
This includesbeinga good friend as well ashavinggood friends.
All the data points to the fact that humans need friendships to thriveboth mentally and physically.
5 Practical Tips to Be a Better Friend
Being a better friend isnt about grand gestures.
Its about small, meaningful actions that build trust and connection over time.
Here’s how:
1.
Listen More Than You Talk
Its easy to fall into the trap of waiting for your turn to speak.
Buttrue listeningmeans being presentnot planning your next comment while your friend is still talking.
Validate Their Experiences
You dont need to fix your friend’s problems.
Check in Regularly
You dont need an hour-long conversation to show you care.
A quick Thinking of youhow are you doing?
text can mean the world.
But celebrating your friends' achievementsno matter how big or smallis an important part of being a good friend.
Respect Their Boundaries
Good friendships are built on trust, andrespecting boundariesis a major part of that.
“Wherever possible, refrain from giving advice unless they ask you.”
Your friend may or may not be ready to get help right now, Dr. Kahn says.
But letting them know that you see how things are going for them shows that you care.
Friendships thrive when both people are willing to be vulnerable and open.
And remember: Its okay to need space sometimes.
Setting healthy boundariesand respecting your friend’s boundaries toois part of what makes a friendship strong and sustainable.
Dr. Dimitriu encourages people to set boundaries when needed in friendships.
Be clear about your needs and boundaries, and express them, he says.
Don’t become a doormat, and be aware of people who make you into one.
Keep in Mind
Friendship isnt about always having the right words or doing the perfect thing.
It’s about presence, compassion, patience, and showing up in the small, everyday moments.
That’s a pretty solid place to start.
Fam Med Community Health.
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Current Opinion in Psychology.
2023;18(1):e0280308.
doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0280308
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, 2023.
