Are you being robbed of your happiness?
These “ideals” can manifest as expectations.
Expectations are what we think will happen, while reality is what actually transpires.
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While we hope these two will match up, they often don’t.
This disparity of expectations vs. reality can often lead to feelings of discontentment and unhappiness.
Let’s explore how expectations can lead to feelings of disappointment when reality doesn’t measure up.
Verywell / Kelly Miller
Luckily, we’ve also got some strategies you’re free to use to manage your expectations.
What Are Expectations?
Expectations refer to the beliefs that we hold about the outcomes of events.
This can prevent us from taking action or makingdecisions that would be in our best interest.
Research shows that people are surprisingly inept at predicting how they will feel in various situations.
The main character, Pip, inherits money from a secret benefactor.
He views this fortune as a stepping stone to marrying the girl of his dreams.
His expectations had robbed him of fully appreciating his reality.
Instead, we may find ourselves expecting more or comparing what wedohave to what we could have.
Gratitudeis all about appreciating what we have instead of lamenting what we don’t.
Research has found that practicing gratitude and working actively tosavor the momentcan have a positive effect onsubjective well-beingand happiness.
Expectations can create significant stress when they don’t match up with reality.
Also, consider how social media can greatly contribute to this.
We may not even realize this mismatched comparison.
This may be part of why those who spend more time on social media tend to beless happy.
Our life expectations may be unrealistic and skewed based on what we think others have.
Remember that our perspective of others is limited and biased.
Become Aware of Your Expectations
Start by assessing your expectations in a situation.
Becoming aware of what you are expecting is a great start.
Becoming aware of what you “should” be expecting is also a wise idea.
This helps you to be more appreciative of what you have.
Spend a few moments each day thinking about something you are grateful for.
Or consider writing in agratitude journal.
Truly savor what you have.
Savoring what you have is a great way to expand the joy you experience in life.
Practice Emotional Acceptance
Don’t beat yourself up forfeeling disappointed.
However, try comparing yourself to others who have less, not more.
Or better yet, try not to compare yourself to others in general.
The only person you should be competing with is you.
Frequently Asked Questions
It is important to be aware of your expectations so that manage them.
Start by being honest with yourself about what you expect from the relationship.
Then communicate your expectations to your partner.
Discussing what you both want is important and gives you a place to start negotiating and compromising on expectations.
Finally, remember to be flexible and willing to adapt as your relationship (and your expectations) evolve.
Remind yourself that no situation is perfect and other people are also flawed and prone to making mistakes.
Remember that expectations are just beliefsthey are not always reality.
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Twenge JM.More time on technology, less happiness?
Associations between digital-media use and psychological well-being.Curr Dir Psych Sci.2019;28(4):372379. doi:10.1177/0963721419838244
