That leads us to getting frustrated when they don’t behave as we want them to.
Let’s find out more about it.
What Is the “Let Them” Theory?
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Outside of the book, this means the theory is all about simply letting others do what they will.
You’llrelease control, and in turn, it will help you feel more settled and relaxed.
But instead, understand what you could control and what you cant," she explains.
When you do that, it will help you see youremotionsmore clearly.
“We become aware of our own emotions and what affects our emotions.
Once you understand your emotions better, you might start to work with them.
Let’s look at how it can help you, and why it can be challenging to implement.
Benefits
Most importantly, using the let them theory may have you feeling more chill.
This will make you a more adaptable person.
The let them theory can also help you improve your overall mental health.
Hafeez notes that “trying to control everything can contribute to burnout and feelings of frustration.
Letting go can reduce mental exhaustion and promote a healthier mindset.”
Obruch says this frees up your mental space and can enable you to have a more fulfilled life.
Implementing the let them theory can actually go against a lot of our instincts.
Hafeez says everything from cultural expectations to our natural desires tohelp otherscan get in the way here.
Says Orbuch, “we think that others judge us, so we worry about those judgments.”
It can improve both your personal relationships and your own sense of emotional wellness.
“When we dont set expectations that cant be met, we are happier,” she notes.
This allows the relationship to be built on trust, acceptance and authenticity,” says Hafeez.
Thankfully, it’s a very straightforward process.
The first step is to get a handle on how often you’re trying to control others.
How large is the list?"
Next, Orbuch recommends starting a calendar or journal.
Let them think or do that.
Let them be them.
Write it down in your calendar," she instructs.
Specifically, she says to “write down your emotions and reactions in your calendar.
Do you feel less stress?
Do you feel stronger?
She advises practicing this shift multiple times a day, for 21 days.
“When someone is sharing their thoughts or emotions, listen fully without jumping in with advice or solutions.
Simply being present can help them feel heard and supported,” she explains.
Giving advice without being asked can often feel like control, even when its well-intentioned,” she says.
As you do all this, you’ll also want toset clear boundarieswith yourself about your actions.
Trust that their mistakes are part of their learning process," she advises.
