Allowing room to experience grief in your own way can help you heal after loss.
What Are the 5 Stages of Grief?
The 5 Stages of Grief is a theory developed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.
Illustration by Emily Roberts, Verywell
It suggests that we go through five distinct stages after the loss of a loved one.
These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.
As we process the reality of our loss, we are also trying to survive emotional pain.
During this stage in grieving, our reality has shifted completely.
It can take our minds time to adjust to our new reality.
This is a lot of information to explore and a lot of painful imagery to process.
Denial is not only an attempt to pretend that the loss does not exist.
We are also trying to absorb and understand what is happening.
Anger
The second stage in grieving isanger.
We are trying to adjust to a new reality and are likely experiencing extreme emotional discomfort.
There is so much to process that anger may feel like it allows us an emotional outlet.
Keep in mind that anger does not require us to be very vulnerable.
However, it may feel more socially acceptable than admitting we are scared.
Anger allows us to express emotion with less fear of judgment or rejection.
Anger also tends to be the first thing we feel when starting to release emotions related to loss.
This can leave us feeling isolated in our experience.
During bargaining, we tend to focus on our personal faults or regrets.
Bargaining no longer feels like an option and we are faced with what is happening.
In this stage of grieving, we start to feel the loss of our loved one more abundantly.
In those moments, we tend to pull inward as the sadness grows.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Acceptance
The last of the 5 Stages of Grief is acceptance.
Sadness and regret can still be present in this phase.
How Long Do Grief Stages Last?
There is no specific time period for any of these stages.
Whatever time it takes for you to move through these stages is perfectly normal.
As we consider the 5 Stages of Grief, it is important to note that peoplegrieve differently.
So, you may or may not go through each of these stages or experience them in order.
The lines of the grieving process stages are often blurred.
These models can provide greater understanding to people who are hurting over the loss of a loved one.
We do our best to offer comfort, but sometimes our best efforts can feel inadequate and unhelpful.
Find out which option is the best for you.
Have patience with yourself and your feelings in dealing with loss.
Simply allow them room to talk when they are ready.
University of Rochester Medical Center.Grief and loss: The process of healing.
2004;329(7466):627.
2013;25(4 Pt 2):14151434. doi:10.1017/S0954579413000692
Parkes CM.Bereavement in adult life.BMJ.
1998;316(7134):856859. doi:10.1136/bmj.316.7134.856
