Observations
Making observations involves describing the objective, factual elements of a situation without anyjudgment.
It focuses on what can be observed rather than assumed or interpreted, which can sometimes be incorrect.
Reserving judgment can help preventdefensivenessand gives your partner room to open up to you, says Silva.
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Example
Instead of:“You always ignore me.”
Feelings
Identifying and expressing youremotionscan help you understand yourself and connect with your partner.
It can help your partner understand your experiences and recognize your needs.
This process involves exploring how your partners words and actions affect your feelings; says Silva.
However, its important to take ownership of your feelings, rather than attributing them to your partner.
Instead of:“You make me angry when you cancel plans.”
Needs
Introspection can help you understand yourdeepest needs, says Silva.
Instead of:“You never spend time with me.”
Try saying:“I need morequality timeand intimacy in our relationship.”
Instead of:You never have time for me.
Try saying:“Could we do date night this Friday?
I would love to spend some quality time together.”
