This kind of fussy fault-finding usually involves petty, inconsequential issues or tasks.
One study found that people with social anxiety are more prone to nitpick their partners.
Socially anxious people also tend to become more upset when criticized by their partners.
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It can be easy to pick apart aspects of your partner that you dislike or don’t agree with.
However, this jot down of criticism does nothing to help the foundation of your relationship.
You’re also saying that you want the other person to change and that they aren’t good enough.
Essentially, nitpicking is a sign that you don’t fully respect your mate.
Even if this isn’t your intention, it can be received this way.
If you continue to nitpick at your spouse, a growing resentment can create a wall between you.
These include the little things about your partner that rub you the wrong way and lead to nitpicking.
All long-term relationships have issues that involve personality traits or temperamental qualities and can cause perpetual conflict.
These unsolvable problems are things you simply need to learn to live with.
Being overly critical or laying blame on the small stuff can lead to bigger issues and evendivorce.
Many of these are seemingly small, but the impact on your relationship can be great.
Be Kind
First and foremost, the most important thing you could do is be nice.
A compliment can be far more helpful.
Be Supportive
you could also do your best to be supportive of your spouse.
Ask yourself if you are expecting perfection.
If so, no one will be able to meet your expectations and you’ll always be disappointed.
Learn to pick your battles and secure your arguments for the big issues (whilefighting fair).
No marriage is conflict-free.
It’s how you handle the conflictslarge and smallthat makes the difference.
Understand What You’re Feeling
Before you decide to nitpick, focus on your internal feelings.
What is it that you really need?
To be heard, seen, or hugged?
There’s a good chance the nitpicking is just a poor attempt to get some other important need met.
Instead of nitpicking your partner, focus on being kind and learning to accept their quirks and habits.
Assessing your own needs and emotions can help you address your feelings without nitpicking.
It may be adifficult discussion, but it’s necessary.
If the nitpicking continues,marriage counselingmay be the best option.
It’s important that you realize when nitpicking crosses the line into abuse.
Whether it’s physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, oremotional abuse, abusive behavior isnever acceptable.
If you think you’re being abused, c’mon seek professional help immediately.
TheNational Domestic Violence Hotlineis available at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Porter E, Chambless DL, Keefe JR.Criticism in the romantic relationships of individuals with social anxiety.Behav Ther.
2020;15(10):e0229316.
doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0229316
Feuerman M.Managing vs.
Resolving Conflict in Relationships: The Blueprints for Success.
Marjaree Mason Center.The cycle of violence.
