They tell you they care about you.
They share their hopes, dreams, and goals with you.
They say they want to take you on big vacations!
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Buy a house together!
Support you in every way you’ll ever need!
The list goes on.
The adage “if it’s too good to be true, it probably is” rings true here.
Future-fake is about manipulation to get something from you in the nowthey aren’t actually thinking about the future.
They want to manipulate you so you believe they are more invested in the relationship than they actually are.
When someone’s future faking us, our perception of reality is distorted.
Essentially, its insecurity coupled with callousness.
Examples of Future Faking
Here are some examples of future faking in romantic and non-romantic relationships.
Do Narcissists Even Know When They’re Future Faking Us?
Some narcissists know and some dont.
Its hard to say whether someone is doing that to us on purpose.
Always Think About the Context
Romm shares that its important to consider context and intent.
For instance, not every broken promise is a lie.
How Can Future Faking Impact Relationships?
We know if our partner has this throw in of behavior, its not looking good for us.
Here are some tips to help you deal with it.
Honor Your Own Boundaries
Clarifying your own needs is the first step to setting boundaries.
Romm says that common relational needs might include connection, autonomy, communication, affection, etc.
However, your body may be able to tell another story.
Romm says to ask ourselves, Does this person generally do what they say they will do?
Romm advises us to not rush into major commitments or decisions in the early stages of a relationship.
Give yourself time to get to know your partner, and to get to know yourself within the relationship.
Often future faking gives narcissists more access to their victims in the present.
To avoid this, dont rush things.
[P]rovide space for them to follow up with action, says Dr. Romanoff.
If your partner isnt consistently walking the talk, it may mean theyre faking a future with you.
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