Nearly 700,000 couplesdivorced or annulledtheir marriage in 2022.Why?
There are a couple of reasons from a lack of family support toinfidelityand a lack of intimacy.
And look: no marriage is perfect.
Getty Images / Verywell Mind
What Is Marriage Counseling?
Let’s start with the basics: what is marriage counseling?
Couples get stuck in these patterns, which are often self-reinforcing.
Counseling provides a clear understanding of the pattern and strategies for getting unstuck.
Okay, but does it work?
According to experts, yes.
Marriage counselingdoeshelpjust look at the TV show Couples Therapy.
Some couples havelong-buried resentmentsor conflicts that months of armchairing won’t fix.
How Does Marriage Counseling Work?
All couples have disagreements.
Going through arough patchis totally normal.
But when not getting along becomes the norm, its time to consider getting some help.
Counseling may also be needed when one partner sees the other partner being at fault all the time.
Most people know that getting marriage counseling means meeting with a therapist and talking.
But thats painting it with a very broad stroke.
The process is designed to be customized for you and your spouse, specific to your needs and goals.
The first question you should probably ask is how competent is the marriage counselor you have found?
Their number of years of experience?
Does he/she take a thorough psychosocial history from the couple?
Does the counselor work on creating SMART goals with the couple?
Youll discover these feelings as you begin the counseling process.
What you’re free to Expect
There’s no defined path to couples counseling.
(Remember, there are different types of counseling to meet you and your partner’s relationship needs).
But most if not all counseling follows some sort of procedure.
It typically goes like this:
The couple will meet with the counselor, Palacios says.
The counselor will ask them to fill out a questionnaire to obtain pertinent information.
Counseling Takes WorkBut Is Worth It
Counseling won’t be easy.
It requires a willingnessto be vulnerable, introspective, and aware of potential challenges you may face.
Finding a good therapist is one-half of the journey.
The other is facing your own contributions to the problem.
While not all problems are 50/50, we all have a role to play in resolving them.
Making the time and financial commitment can be difficult, especially if you are parenting young children.
Bottom Line
Counselingis not a cure-all for any relationship.
You still have to do the work.
In some cases, that may mean finding additional ways to work through your marriage issues.
That can look like engaging in counseling books and videos or attending marriage seminars and workshops.
Perhaps, journaling too!
The goal is to learn more about your spouses needs, desires, and love language.
Does going to counseling mean your marriage won’t end in divorce?
It’s truly a well-worth investment.
Marriage counseling shouldn’t be a last resortit should be a first line of defense, Schoen says.
National Center for Health Statistics.National Marriage and Divorce Rate Trends for 2000-2022.
2020;7(1):1-14. doi:10.1057/s41599-020-00622-8
