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Closure is something we seek at the finality of something.
In other cases, we might want closure after ending atoxic relationshipwith a friend or family member.
When searching for closure, the main goal is to get answers to unresolved matters.
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But is it worth the hassle or is it better to leave things as they are and move on?
This perspective questions the intention behind needing closure.
What happens after you’ve heard the other person’s side?
Searching for closure might be an excuse to hold on to something that no longer serves you.
Doing this is an attempt at getting closure.
While you might want to understand why things are ending, finding out this information could be triggering.
Sometimes, we are triggered by how we interpret their responses.
I found someone else.
I’m not ready.
You’re too needy.
I’m not worth loving.
I’m not enough.
I’m too needy.
I pushed too hard.
I expected too much.
But sometimes, things are better off left unsaidyou might find that ignorance is bliss.
When Closure Isn’t an Option
In many instances, closure may not be an option.
If someone has passed away, for instance, you cannot receive closure.
So, what happens when you don’t receive it?
Are you better off not knowing?
Are you sparing yourself additional heartache and confusion?
Additionally, sometimes the other person may be against helping you obtain closure.
The end goal is peace, so finding closure on any level is a win.
Here are some ways to bring yourself some closure when you need it.
Write a Letter
Write the other person a letter.
It could even be a ‘goodbye’ letter, allowing you to say everything you weren’t able to.
Regardless of the punch in of letter, the important thing here is that you get your emotions out.
Expressive writing canfacilitate emotional healing.By simply writing everything out, you are releasing your sad and negative energy.
It’s entirely up to you whether you actually send the letter or not.
Embrace the Tears
Crying is one of the best ways to release difficult emotions.
Plus, once you’re done crying, you generally feel better.
Let it out and when you’re done, let it go.
Enjoy Your Solitude
Have you ever taken yourself out on a date?
Try it once and you might just realize that you enjoy your own company.
Doing things alonecan be so empowering.
Long gone are the days of silent shame when going out alone was seen as a bad thing.
Table for one, like!
Find a New Hobby
Hobbies are enjoyable.
They’re alsoa way to reduce stress.
So, find something that brings you peace and happiness.
While this may be a hard pill to swallow, face it head-on.
In time, witheffective coping skills, you will recover.
That relationship didn’t work out for a reason.
You may not know that reason right now, but in time it will make sense.
Do You Really Need Closure?
You may or may not.
You’re the best gauge of what you need.
No one else can determine whether or not you need closure or how much of it you need.
Are you prepared to hear something you don’t like?
What about the emotions that follow the conversation?
So, is closure important?
You have to decide that for yourself and on your own terms.
Maybeletting gois all the closure you really need.
National Alliance on Mental Illness.Understanding mental illness triggers.
2019;34:240-246. doi:10.1016/j.ctcp.2018.12.005
Harvard Health Publishing.Is crying good for you?
Parkhurst E.How hobbies improve mental health.
