It also happens to be something Ive lived with for most of my life.
And while the physical symptoms are frustrating enough, themental tollcan be just as difficult.
As I got older, the flare-ups didnt disappearthey just relocated.
Verywell Mind / Getty Images
Two highly visible areas.
Two sources of daily discomfort and constantself-consciousness.
Im not alone in my embarrassment.
There’s also a sense of isolation when they feel misunderstood or judged by others, says Berry.
Judged is a good descriptor of how I felt.
Just dont use scented soaps.
Just drink more water.
Instead, it got worse.
Sometimes, the burning and itching were so severe that I couldnt sleep.
Wearing collared shirts became impossible.
Still, the advice came.Just take omega-3s.
Just cut out sugar.
More than one doctor told me my flare-ups werestress-related.
By that point, Id already noticed the connection.
My AD flared up right alongside my anxiety andpost-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Big life changes, bouts of illness, family emergenciesthey all showed up on my skin.
Berry explains that this can disrupt your skins barrier function and immune response.
This cycle is incredibly frustrating:stress makes eczema worse, but eczema also causes stress itself.
And its not just fleeting stress that it causes:skin conditions affect mental health.
This sleeplessness could also affect mental wellness.
My doctors solution was tojust stress less.
Just dont stress is not medical advice.
I was already tired ofPTSDs debilitating effect on my life.
Dealing with stress and mental illness is hard enough on its own.
Adding an uncomfortable, sometimes painful rash into the mix felt unfair.
Breaking the Cycle
The turning point came at 24, during a particularly difficult week.
I was burned out, grieving, and struggling to sleep through the night.
One early morning, I found myself crying on the porchexhausted, overwhelmedand felt an itch in my neck.
Again, my AD was flaring up.
That moment didnt feel like a grand epiphany.
But it was the moment I felt truly fed up with my situation.
So I went back to the basics.
My doctors solution was tojust stress less.
‘Just dont stress’ is not medical advice.
The treatments that worked temporarily?
I used them as often as possible.
Every night, I took oat baths to soothe my skin.
I then applied cortisone cream, sitting in front of a fan so that itd sting less.
I took doxylamine, a strong over-the-counter sleep aid that also happens to be an antihistamine.
Not only did it make me sleepy, it also slightly reduced the itching.
I also worked out while wearing wet dressing, which protected my rashes from irritation.
And since I was at a breaking point, I temporarily stopped caring about what others thought.
I was in so much pain that I couldnt care less.
I ignored well-meaning just try this advice and started wearing huge dressings on my neck in public.
I also stopped covering my AD with scarves, which just irritated my skin further.
Lastly, I stopped going to doctors who were unsympathetic or dismissive of my AD.
Ill never forget the kind, thoughtful look on my current doctors face during our first appointment.
She didnt tell me tojust stress lessbut helped me figure outactionable ways I could take care of myself.
These changes were tedious and time-consumingand of course, none of it fully cured my eczema.
And more importantly, it made me feel like I had a little more control over my own care.
But Ive started to think of my AD differently.
But my skin tells a different story.
Its a physical reminder that stress affects more than just our thoughts and moodsit affects our entire bodies.
Sometimes, I still get frustrated.
AD can be painful.
It can be embarrassing.
It can make daily life harder in small but meaningful ways.
But its also given me a direct line to my inner world.
When my mind is struggling but Im pretending Im fine, my skin tells the truth.
And for that, Im learning to listen.
Bottom Line
Throughout my experience, it helped me to remember that Im not alone.
Many people experience exactly what you’re feeling right now.
Connecting with others who truly understand your struggles can make a huge difference, Berry says.
Living with atopic dermatitis can be physically and emotionally draining.
But over time, Ive realized that fighting itor shaming myself for itonly makes things worse.
Instead, Im learning to meet it with care.
My eczema may never go away entirely.
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Barilla S, Felix K, Jorizzo JL.Stressors in atopic dermatitis.Adv Exp Med Biol.2017;1027:71-77.
Courtney A, Su JC.The psychology of atopic dermatitis.JCM.
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