Find out which option is the best for you.
It is about accepting what has happened and showingcompassionto yourself.
Facing what you have done or what has happened is the first step toward self-forgiveness.
Hero Images/Getty Images
It’s also the hardest step.
The key is to treat yourself with the same kindness that you would show to another person.
These feelings of guilt and remorse can serve as a springboard to positive behavior change.
Verywell / Brianna Gilmartin
This can bring up feelings of worthlessness which, left unresolved, can lead toaddiction,depression, andaggression.
Fixing your mistake means you’ll never have to wonder if you could have done more.
Learn From the Experience
Everyone makes mistakes and has things for which they feel sorry or regretful.
What steps can you take to prevent the same behaviors again in the future?
As you approach similar situations, reflect on how you felt about your past mistakes.
This includes both forgiving others as well as yourself.
Numerous studies have demonstrated that when people practice self-forgiveness, they experience lower levels of depression and anxiety.
Similarly,self-compassionis associated with higher levels of success, productivity, focus, and concentration.
Physical Health
The act of forgiveness can also positively impact your physical health.
Relationships
Having a compassionate and forgiving attitude toward yourself is also a critical component of successful relationships.
One study found that both parties benefit from the “offending partner” showing self-forgiveness.
Challenges in Forgiving Yourself
So what is it that makes self-forgiveness so difficult at times?
Why do people often continue to punish and berate themselves over relatively minor mistakes?
Some people are just naturally more prone torumination, which can make it easier to dwell on negative feelings.
Lastly, people who are not yet ready to change may find it harder to truly forgive themselves.
it’s possible for you to avoid this by consciouslypracticing empathywith those who have been affected by your actions.
Frequently Asked Questions
Letting go of the guilt you feel often takes time.
Focus on self-compassion, apologize if needed, and work on making amends.
There are a number of reasons why you might be struggling to forgive yourself.
It might be because you’re worried about making the same mistake again.
Or perhaps you’re worried about how facing your actions might undermine your self-image or damage your self-esteem.
In such cases, taking gradual steps to truly change can be helpful.
The more serious your mistake, the longer it may take to move past it.
Regret can be normal, but it is important to take steps to move past it.
It is important to remember that learning how to forgive yourself is not a one-size-fits-all process.
2017;12(2):159-168. doi:10.1080/17439760.2016.1163407
Nolen-Hoeksema S, Wisco BE, Lyubomirsky S.Rethinking rumination.Perspect Psychol Sci.
“Letting myself go forward past wrongs”: How regulatory modes affect self-forgiveness.PLoS ONE.
2018;13(3):e0193357.
doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0193357
Rahim M, Patton R.The association between shame and substance use in young people: A systematic review.PeerJ.
2015;3:e737.
2015;6:28847. doi:10.3402/ejpt.v6.28847
Roese NJ, Vohs KD.Hindsight bias.Perspect Psychol Sci.
2014;107(1):142-162. doi:10.1037/a0036640
Breines J.The healthy way to forgive yourself.Greater Good Magazine.
August 23, 2012.
