Back Up, What Do You Mean By Assertive Communication?
Learning to communicate assertively is not selfish; it’s actually an effective way of negotiating social encounters.
You may have misconceptions about what it means to be assertive.
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The Importance of Being Assertive
Still not sure if assertive communication is the way to go?
Consider that most of your daily encounters will be with people who are communicating and behaving assertively.
By the same token, others expect you to tell them what you need.
The goal of being assertive is to negotiate social situations in a way that benefits everyone.
Try it again:
I..
can’t…
help you with that task because my calendar is full.
See, it doesn’t have to be overly thought out or complicated!
It’s about being direct and expressing your needs.
Once you start to do it regularly, it will feel more natural.
Read each of the following passages and see if you see the difference.
“Jane keeps quiet and hopes everyone will guess what she wants.
She speaks hesitantly with a weak voice, and gives up easily.
She tends to look down or away, has poor posture, and keeps her head down.
She fidgets a lot and nods in agreement no matter what is said.”
She expresses concern and seeks out fairness in situations."
“Jack is sarcastic and comes across like a know-it-all.
He needs to win at all costs, speaks loudly, and stares at people.
He tends to stand with his feet apart and his hands on his hips.
He also likes to point his finger and move abruptly.”
Your goal should be to emulate the second stylethat of Juliewhich reflects asserttive nonverbal behavior.
By learning to be more assertive, you will reduce anxiety and improve your relationships with others.