People with BPD experience unstable moods, emotional dysregulation, fear of abandonment, impulsive behaviors, and more.
This can be especially true for romantic relationships.
What BPD Looks Like in a Relationship
Everyone faces relationship problems at some point.
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In the DSM-5, symptoms of BPD include intense, unstable, and conflicted personal relationships.
For example, one study demonstrated that women with BPD symptoms reported greaterchronic relationship stressand more frequent conflicts.
Also, the more severe a persons BPD symptoms are the less relationship satisfaction their partner reports.
All of this conflict and turmoil means that people with borderline personality disorder have trouble maintaining relationships.
Research has also shown that BPD symptoms are associated with a greater number of romantic relationships over time.
BPD can affect relationships in a variety of ways.
The result is a constant back-and-forth between demands for love or attention and suddenwithdrawalor isolation.
This means that they often misinterpret even minor events as signs of imminent abandonment.
Lying
Another common complaint of people in relationships with someone with BPD islying.
People with this condition often lie to make it have a go at avoid being abandoned.
Intense emotions, impulsivity, shame, and distorted perceptions also play a role in this tendency to lie.
The constant deception undermines trust in relationships.
Also, a large percentage of people with BPD experiencedchildhood sexual abuse,which can make sex very complicated.
Finally, research has also shown BPD symptoms are associated with a higher incidence of unplanned pregnancies in women.
Suicidal gestures andideationcan be scary for romantic partners and can introduce lots of stress into the relationship.
Will the Relationship Last?
Most relationships go through ahoneymoon periodat the start.
Relationships with people who have BPD are no exception.
In fact, the experience may be magnified.
They may feel as thoughthey have found their perfect matcha soulmatewho will rescue them from their emotional pain.
This kind of thinking is called idealization.
This honeymoon period can be very exciting for the new partner, too.
After all, it’s really nice to have someone feel so strongly about you and to feel needed.
Problems start to arise, however, when reality sets in.
In addition to individual therapy, couples therapy can be helpful for both partners in the relationship.
There are four main skills taught in DBT, one of which is managing interpersonal skills.
Research suggests that some medications can help a person manage their anger, impulsivity, and depression.
Talk to your doctor about which options might be right for you.
Even if a relationship is unhealthy, a person with BPD can have trouble letting the relationship go.
This is particularly true of long-term partnerships ormarriages.
This online grid often includes a mental health professional.
If you have BPD, getting treatment for your condition is the first step.
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
National Institute of Mental Health.Borderline personality disorder.
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