When coping with anxiety leads to neurotic behavior
Anxiety has a way of disrupting many aspects of our lives.
It can shape how we think, feel and act.
For example, we might constantly seek reassurance to ease our fears or bend backward to avoid upsetting others.
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Neurosisis an inability to adapt and a tendency to experience excessive negative or obsessive thoughts and behaviors.
The term has been in use since the 1700s.
Neurosis, she believed, was due to the basic anxiety we experience stemming from ourinterpersonal relationships.
Three Types of Neurotic Needs
Neurotic needs don’t all look the same.
They often serve different functions and arise from different forms of anxiety.
The three broad categories of neurotic needs essentially describe how people can cope with their social experiences.
So what is it that makes these coping strategies neurotic?
According to Horney, it is the overuseof one or more of these interpersonal styles.
The 10 neurotic needs that Horney described are:
1.
The Need for Affection and Approval
Horney labeled the first need as the neurotic need for affection and approval.
This involves a focus on the partner.
Individuals with this need experience an intense fear of abandonment by their partner.
This often manifests as needing to stay out of the spotlight.
People with this need prefer to remain inconspicuous and unnoticed.
They are undemanding and content with little.
They avoid wishing for material things, often making their needs secondary and undervaluing their talents and abilities.
The Need for Power
Horney described the fourth need as a neurotic need for power.
People who have this need seek power for its own sake.
They usually praise strength, despise weakness, and will exploit or dominate other people.
These people fear personal limitations, helplessness, and uncontrollable situations.
They tend to dominate others and avoid situations where they don’t have the upper hand.
People with this need generally pride themselves on their ability to exploit other people.
The Need for Prestige
People who seek prestige find their self-worth in public recognition and acclaim.
These individuals often fear public embarrassment and loss of social status.
The Need for Personal Admiration
This need goes beyond a desire for praise or recognition.
Instead, it’s all about getting acclaim not just for what you do but who you are.
People with this neurotic need crave personal admiration, which serves as the basis for their self-esteem.
Their self-confidence tends to be fragile.
Instead of having an inherent sense of worth, their self-belief hinges on getting outside validation.
They want to be admired based on this imagined self-view, not on how they truly are.
The Need for Personal Achievement
This need hinges on the desire to prove oneself through accomplishments.
It’s not about achieving things for personal growth.
People with this need see their value as a person only in terms of what they can achieve.
According to Horney, people push themselves to achieve greater and greater things as a result of basic insecurity.
These individualsfear failureand constantly need to accomplish more than others and top even their earlier successes.
Failure isn’t just a temporary setback.
It’s seen as a personal defeat that undermines a person’s entire sense of self.
The Need for Independence
This need reflects a strong desire for self-sufficiency and independence.
The Need for Perfection
People with a neurotic need for perfection and unassailability strive for complete infallibility.
Remember that being neurotic doesn’t mean that you are destined to be unhappy, anxious, or depressed.
Spend some time thinking about how your life might be affected by these tendencies.
These may seem benign, but they can strain your relationships and leave you feeling stressed.
Purposelychallenging your negative thoughtscan be helpful for creating a more positive perspective and mindset.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulnessis a practice that involves focusing on the present moment.
As you practice mindfulness, you become more aware of how you are feeling and what you are thinking.
Strategies that can help people cope with neurosis include cognitive reframing, mindfulness, and social support.
Therapy can also be helpful for changing negative thinking patterns that contribute to neurosis.
Recognizing your own neurotic tendencies can help you better understand your own behaviors.
By addressing these issues, people can often improve their overall mental health and wellness.
Frequently Asked Questions
Jung, Adler, and Horney were considered neo-Freudians.
All three developed their own theory of psychology.
Horney is often considered the founder of feminist psychology.
Jung developed an approach known as analytical psychology, while Adler founded an approach known as individual psychology.
Horney’s perspective allowed her to recognize the weaknesses in Freud’s views of female psychology.
Instead, she suggested that men were likely to experience feelings of inferiority due to feelings of womb envy.
Her disagreements with Freud led to her being expelled from the New York Psychoanalytic Institute in 1941.
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