An interview with Logan Ury on her new distraction-free dating guide
Ourattention spansare garbage these days.
But losing focus when we’re trying to fall in love?
I honestly didn’t think we’d end up here.
Usually, this is the fault of our devices.
Distraction permeates all aspects of our daily existence, from our work to our hobbies to our home lives.
Apparently, my confidence is misguided.
And its ironic, right?
So, I cant recommend it enough.
I think it’s pretty eye-opening.
This interview has been edited for clarity and concision.
Is it showing up on peoples profiles?
What does the data say?
LOGAN:Hey, yes I appreciate the thoughtful preamble!
We may be anapp, but our biggest goal is to create opportunities for more in-person connections.
We may be an app, but our biggest goal is to create opportunities for more in-person connections.
Thus, we came up with thisdistraction-free dating guide.
It has a ton of ideas for dates that help you connect and stay off your phone.
Everyone wants to connect but were having a super hard time because of our technology.
For young people, their phones are almost like an additional limb.
These devices are woven into their existence, especially socially.
We’ve been doing a ton of research about Gen Z dating.
There are a lot of moments of awkwardness and discomfort on a first date, its expected.
Its just people in general who are having an impossible time putting their phones away.
Can they can they be playful?
Can they be spontaneous?
Its actually pretty hard for your brain to process all of that and compare the experience.
How can you even remember each date?
Youre asking yourself things like:Did I already say this to you?
It really isnt a good way to give people your attention or to be present.
It just totally dilutes the experience of each individual interaction.
Give your dates room to be great
LOGAN:Yeah, I think that’s spot on.
Nobody feels romantic or flirtatious at 7 a.m. before youve had coffee or before you have a big meeting.
If you dont want to be distracted, you gotta give your dates breathing room.
And thats also a big thing in behavioral science: environment matters.
Youre going to make different decisions in different circumstances.
Alright so heres my last question for you.
Vulnerability and authenticity really do matter
LOGAN:Yeah!
That to me is really positive, the acknowledgment and desire to improve.
Another one is related to research that we did at Hinge onemotional vulnerability.
I thought this was surprising.
And so I think there really is a desire to have these dates that are more authentic.
And it’s kind of similar to the distraction-free dating one where they know that vulnerability is preferred.
That’s something that I would really want to normalizeyou can be honest on a first date.
It allows for continued conversation as well.
At Hinge, we really encourage people to move from chatting to the date as soon as possible.
VERYWELL MIND:Wow!
Thanks so much for this terrific conversation, Logan!
LOGAN:Of course!
Im happy to chat anytimeand I hope they do too.
