This is often depicted in the media with a girl becoming increasingly uncomfortable with her boyfriends female best friend.
But, the truth is, this can happen in anygenderdynamic.
This is completely normal.
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But, you probably don’t need to panic.
Are you happy that your partner has a close friend?
Do you wish you could also have a close relationship with that friend?
Do you feel left out when they grab lunch without you?
Or, does your stomach churn withjealousyor anxiety when you see their name pop up on your partners phone?
Lauren Pietra, LMFT
You may bejealousthat your boyfriends friend is getting his time and attention.
Or, sometimes jealousy is triggered by comparing yourself to someone else and feeling inadequate or not good enough.
I knew my relationship with my husband was special.
I also knew my relationship with my best friend was, too.
I wasnt willing to sacrifice either one.
Maintaining thrivingplatonic relationshipsand having a deep romantic relationship is something I value deeply.
Luckily, they had some things in common.
And, conversely, my husband got to build a friendship with my best friend.
They go out to lunch, watch movies alone together, and text throughout the week.
Maybe youve been assured he sees her like a sister, but something still gives you pause.
HowInavigated my friendship and relationship is just one way to do things.
you oughta figure out what feels right for you in your relationship.
I turned to licensed marriage and family therapistLauren Pietrafor more insight.
Check in with yourself.
Remember, jealousy is a normal human emotion, she explained.
She continued by explaining the various waysjealousycan be triggered.
Sometimes we can feel jealous because someone else is getting something you want.
“You may bejealousthat your boyfriends friend is getting his time and attention.
If youre feeling stuck on how to get clarity on your feelings, Pietra recommendsTara BrachsR.A.I.N.meditation.
This recommendation is aligned with current researchmindfulnessexercises can help decrease feelings of envy.
This may feel daunting and you might be imagining the various ways this conversation could go off the rails.
Pietra says reminding your partner that you trust them is an ideal starting point.
Framing it this way is less likely to triggerdefensivenessin your partner, she continued.
You also get a chance to do the same.
Pietra was honestthat question is far too nuanced and personalized to each couple.
However, there was one bottom-line issue.
Lyingand secrecy would definitely besignsof possible boundary crossing.
But, these situations can be complex and you might be challenged to find your footing moving forward.
If that is the case, consider enteringcouples therapy.
Not sure where to begin?
We really loveOctavescouples therapy services.
Heres to harmony in all your relationshipsromantic and platonic alike!
2022;183(4):328-344. doi: 10.1080/00221325.2022.2078684
