It’s justa crushyou’re not going to act on it, of course.
But is it, like, wrong to fancy someone when you’re in a relationship?
You have puppy love, AKA strong but surface-level (and temporary!)
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romantic and sexual feelings for someone.
It’s totally harmless when you’re single.
Take a look below at how to handle a crush when you’re committed to another.
Why Do Crushes Happen When You’re Committed?
They’re perfectly normal and common.But why do we have them?
She adds that relationships can be complex, but crushes feel simple, which makes them appealing.
you’ve got the option to’t control having a crush.
They’re involuntary and can often be the result of boredom in a relationship.
It may provide an escape of sorts.
Common Emotional Reactions
Crushes can result in feelings of both guilt and shame.
Suzannah Weiss
The feelings themselves aren’t something to feel guilty about, though.
What matters more is whether you’re acting on them.
Don’t feel about having a crushit’s biological!
That said, how you handle it is everything.
A common emotional reaction is tofantasize about the personyou’re crushing on.
That isn’t the most sound route, though.
Is This Saying Something About Your Relationships?
Crushing on a person outside of your relationship can naturally make you consider your relationship.
Sometimes, a crush will help you realize what your relationship is lacking.
How to Manage the Crush
The first step to managing a crush is toset boundaries.
That will help you ensure everyone behaves appropriately in the situation.
Set boundaries with your partner, your crush, and yourself," advises Turner.
Is Your Crush a Sign That Your Needs Aren’t Being Met?
If the answer is yes, talk with your partner about your unmet needs.
Work together to discern how to change the situation, so that you and your partner feel satisfied.
It’s also important to redirect the energy you’re putting into your crush back into your relationship.
When you have the urge to send your crush a funny TikTok, send it to your partner instead.
Find new ways to flirt with your partner, Turner suggests.
Is It a Crush Or Is Monogamy Just Not For You?
That said, according to Weiss, non-monogamy can potentially cause your partner a lot of stress.
Whether or not you tell your partner about your crush is entirely up to you.
But if you’re wonderingifyou should, experts say it depends on your relationship.
A crush is often quite manageable in strong relationships.
However, even in the healthiest of relationships, a crush can your partner’s feelings.
But this can be worked through with appropriate boundaries and potentially professional support, she adds.
it’s possible for you to also use your crush’s feelings to make your relationship more exciting.
Crushes help us boost our self-confidence, which can carry into our relationship, says Turner.
Which means you’re able to carry that renewed confidence into your current partnership.
Let them know how turned on you arethey do not need to know what turned you on initially.
That energy can actually be fuel to get to know new parts of your own sexuality."
Is It Time for Therapy?
If that’s the case, you may benefit from therapy, either by yourself or with your partner.
You should consider seeking therapyeither individually or as a couplewhen your crush becomes all-consuming," says Turner.
Okay, so you know you need therapy, but should you do it alone or with your partner?
Well, that depends on what types of feelings you’re dealing with.
Another reason to go to couples therapy is if you are discussing opening your relationship, says Weiss.
This can get very complicated and you need as much support as possible.
Therapy Resources
Not sure where or how to start your therapy journey?
There are manyonline options.
Published online February 12, 2024:1-14. doi:10.1080/00224499.2024.2310702
