Little excites us as much as a tale of ill-fated romance or partners for whom the stars never align.
As with many things in life, the chemicals ourbrains produceplay a role in our fascination with star-crossed love.
It’s time to start focusing on people who are available and excited to love you back!
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Why Does Our Brain Want Unavailable Partners?
For some people, desiring those who don’t want them back can be centered around safety.
For others, unrequited feelings can lead to limerence.
The person becomes the “limerent object,” and you focus on them incessantly.
You might even need therapeutic assistance to move on.
People with specific attachment styles are more vulnerable to one-sided love.
McCullough says unrequited love isn’t that different from gambling, according to your brain.
“Most of the time that you play a slot machine, you’re going to lose.
Your mind will be on the hunt for a good outcome.
“What if you beat the odds and win?
These highs and lows can keep you hooked, andnotjust on gambling.
Additionally, love is an incredibly common plotline in our books, tv shows, and movies.
This is a perfect starting point for understanding what your real motives are.
That’s for the sake of accountability.
When we’re hung up on someone who isn’t into us, it can lead to weird behaviors.
This can lead to far more intimacy than anything one-sided ever could.
Wyant BE.Treatment of limerence using a cognitive behavioral approach: a case study.J Patient Exp.
Gardner EL.Introduction: addiction and brain reward and anti-reward pathways.Adv Psychosom Med.
