We all have minor insecurities and sensitivities that can cause us to feel jealous from time to time.
Sometimes it arises when a person feelsinsecureabout their relationship.
A little jealousy can be reassuring in a relationship and may even be programmed into us.
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Theres no reason to believe that jealousy will improve without being addressed.
Jealousy is not an emotion that can be banished with wishful thinking.
Envy vs. Jealousy
It is important to distinguish between envy and jealousy in relationship.
How do they differ?
Being envious means feeling angry, frustrated, or left out because someone else has something you don’t.
Envy is about comparing yourself to others and coming up short, while jealousy involves insecurity and feeling threatened.
Normal vs.
Being able to distinguish between healthy jealousy and unhealthy jealousy is important to the success of your partnership.
Jealousy also heightens emotions, makinglovefeel stronger.
In small, manageable doses, jealousy can be a positive force in a relationship.
When a healthy relationship experiences jealousy, it comes from a place of protection.
One person sees a potential threat to the relationship and expresses concern or jealousy.
Together, the couple discusses the issue rationally and comes to an agreement on how to move forward.
They are both committed to the relationship and are not insecure about who they are as individuals.
Unhealthy Jealousy
When jealousy is intense or irrational, the story is very different.
Irrational or excessive jealousy is often a warning sign of a potentiallyabusive relationship.
Eventually, jealous people feel so overwhelmed by their emotions and insecurities that they exert control over their partners.
They also may generally feel suspicious or threatened, or they may struggle with a sense of failure.
Jealousy can happen for many reasons, including:
What causes insecurity in relationships?
A perceived or real threat (such as infidelity) can also cause jealousy and insecurities.
So can a loss of intimacy or attachment or a failure to fully develop those bonds.
“Communication, sex, trust, and feelings of partnership will all likely suffer,” she explains.
But abnormal jealousy is anything but loving.
Schubert also says that sexual intimacy will become more difficult if jealousy is not addressed in a healthy way.
Both you and your partner can learn how to handle jealousy in a healthy way.
Or, you may decide that talking at bedtime while one spouse is on the road will alleviate concerns.
The key is that you discuss the issues calmly and come up with solutions together.
Or, does the relationship have trust issues due toinfidelity?
give a shot to understand where the jealousy is coming from and what can be done to lessen it.
This process begins with both partners being trustworthy.
In other words, they are faithful, committed, and honest.
Trustworthy people do not lie about how they are spending their time.
They also do not cheat on their spouses.
If you both guard against these pitfalls,trust in the relationshipwill grow and crowd out jealousy.
Any threats to your attachment should be a cause for concern.
Jealousy is appropriate when it is a signal that the relationship is at risk.
Often, feelings of jealousy come from attachment styles learned as a child.
Recognize When Jealousy Is Abusive
Jealousy in response to a real threat to the relationship is normal.
What’s more, this punch in of jealousy is not a one-time thing.
It is a pattern of behavior that repeats.
you should probably get help right away before things spiral out of control.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
For instance, do you struggle with self-esteem or are you afraid your partner will leave you?
Or has your partner been unfaithful in the past and you are worried it will happen again?
Either way, your feelings need to be dealt with.
Like most other difficult emotional experiences, if treated correctly, jealousy can be a trigger for growth.
Addressing jealousy can become the first step in increased self-awareness and greater understanding for both you and your partner.
Steps to overcoming jealous feelings often include:
Open communication is essential.
“Communicate about feelings openly, honestly, and without judgement,” Schubert suggests.
When jealousy becomes unhealthy, it can destroy relationships and createtoxic marriages.
They can give you tools for coping with jealousy in a healthy way.
Find out which option is the best for you.
2014;111(2):646651. doi:10.1073/pnas.1321664111
