What my mother considers pickiness, I consider non-negotiable.
These red flags are not open to discussion or reconsiderationaka theyre non-negotiable.
Communicating and reinforcing them seals the deal, and advocating for yourself is not as easy as it looks.
Justin Pumfrey/ Getty Images
Because we all don’t have the same boundaries…right?
I mean, what’s intolerable across the board, and what’s a preference?
The answers to these questions (and more) are just a few paragraphs away.
Disrespect Is a Big No No
Respect is always a must.
A disrespectful partner is no joke.
I pray I never find a love like that.
What’s a Relationship Without Trust?
Without trust, you have nothing.
It may be overstated, but this quote still rings true.
It’s why trust is lifestyle content creatorMelody Njoku’s, 27, non-negotiable.
For without it, there’s no connection or intimacy, she says.
Trust may be the foundation of a relationship, but nearly a third of adults havetrust issues.
But I’m with Njoku on this one.
Trust issues are a death sentence to any relationshipthey brew resentments, doubts, and suspiciousness.
Others want to jet-set around the globe and discover life’s treasures.
Whatever your goals are, it needs to align with your significant other.
Sure, you’re able to compromise.
But you’re able to’t go half on a baby or bargain on a marriage license.
Most peopledate others with similar beliefs, whether that’s political, religious, or spiritual.
Identifying Your Non-Negotiables
You might not have these negotiable, but you do have some.
Early on, we might ignore warning signs because we believe it’s too early to judge.
(Hint: it’s really not, tbh).
Be serious about setting strict boundaries and not letting things fly.
Trust your gut, but also have outlined and written non-negotiables.
What’s the first towards doing that?
Talking with your partner.
Will these be awkward and uncomfortable conversations?
But, remember these conversations are foryourbenefit.
Alignment is key in healthy relationships.
Getting to know someone and establishing deal breakers early helps prevent potentially toxic and painful relationships.
Dating is already hardlet’s not make it any harder.
Enforcing boundaries isn’t a one-way street.
Your partner also has deal breakers that you must respect.
Reminder
Relationships are give and take.
When there’s too much sacrifice on either end, a non-negotiablea boundarygets crossed.
And when you deliver said boundaries, be mindful ofyour tone, approach, and delivery, Lewis says.
You want to create a safe space for you and your partner to verbalize your needs.
And nothing’s unsafer than an angry tone or hostilebody language.
The only advice left to share is to reflect periodically on your non-negotiables.
You’re not the same person two years or five years agohell, even ten years ago.
Anytime something significant happens, our value changes.
Just look at your 20s and 30srelationships, layoffs, deaths, weddings, and childbirth.
All of these life events impact our outlook and influence what we find important.
It’s a great thing to grow, evolve, and learn!
Understanding how life shifts our worldview and perspective is even better.
A happy and healthy relationship is a self-reflection moment away.
Published March, 24, 2022.
