This article reflects that community language preference.
However, when surveyed, many autistics who want to be in romantic relationships report challenges in this area.
Flirting that includes subtle nonverbal cues or verbal double entendres can easily be missed or misunderstood, says Marsh.
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Marsh recommends that non-autistic partners be patient and avoid assuming intent that was not explicitly indicated.
If someone likes me I hope they will come right out and tell me.
Many of the autistics I spoke with in writing this article noted that they struggle with recognizing flirting.
If someone likes me I hope they will come right out and tell me.'
It’s a rare mix in a person.
(Sorry, she’s taken.)"
ND Dev noted that autistics do not always show their feelings in ‘conventional’ ways.
Autistic people can also experience hyposensitivity which can allow for additional capacity for sensory experiences.
This often leads autistic people to seek outBDSMand other kinks to fulfill those sensory needs.
Outside of set dates, partners can remember each otherssensory needsthrough their day-to-day life.
For example, ND Dev shared, “Sometimes, an autist may genuinely need time alone.
Remember that this is an ongoing conversation, as sensory needs can change over time.
This can manifest as discomfort with physical touch or a stronger need for touch.
Even if both partners are autistic, they may have opposite needs and comfort levels around physical touch.
Both of these experiences are valid and okay.
If you ignore this, then you are putting a strain on your relationship.”
Special Interests
Autistic people might find they connect well with partners who share their special interests.
There’s usually a reason."
It is okay to take breaks when you should probably.
Use open and directcommunicationto express this need.
Marsh also recommends taking turns talking about special interests so that both partners feel heard.
Coping with Change
Autistic people often need routine and predictability, making it difficult tocope with change.
This comes from a need for safety.
It is important to honor routine and spontaneity so both partners' needs are met.
That way, autistic people that value routine can mentally prepare for this alternative when needed.
If you get stood up (it happens), this doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you.
Make it something fun for you that you’ve got the option to do on your own.
Knowing that you have a backup plan helps.
If you are autistic, know that you might find a partner who understands and meets your needs.
If you are autistic, know that your needs and communication style are valid.
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