Enter: The three-month rule.
But how much actual logic or benefit is there to this assertion?
So, is the three-month rule something thats right for you?
Dmytro Betsenko / Getty Images
What is the Three-Month Rule?
As a result, some people can leave relationships at this point to chase their next high.
The three-month rule suggests waiting it out to see if things fizzle or if there’s something real there.
It’s about getting to know the not-so-shiny parts of someone before getting too attached.
Its worth looking at constraint commitments here.
After just three months, you arent likely to have so many constraints yet.
Therefore, leaving at the three-month point can be easier.
We dont know exactly where the rule came from.
It’s about getting to know the not-so-shiny parts of someone before getting too attached.
Take, for example, if someone is untidy.
Initially, you might gloss over their untidyness, even if you like to keep things tidy yourself.
One drawback, however, is that you might spend longer in the relationship than you intend to.
Say you arent sure how you feel, but youre planning on sticking it out until three months anyway.
And, the rule might encourage some people to stay in relationships for longer than they would otherwise.
The three-month rule can be great, but you dont have to stick to it hard and fast.
For some people, holding off on having sex until after three months might feel right.
For others, physical intimacy can occur earlier.
Some Possible Scenarios
Perhaps youve hit three months and then the person youre dating breaks things off.
In this sort of situation,communication is key.
Just double-check you’re both on the same page so you don’t end up trapped in an endlesssituationship.
Is It Effective?
But, at the same time, its not necessarily for everyone.
Personal growth and relationship evolution dont always adhere neatly to dates on a calendar.
What if one of you wants to follow the rule, while another doesnt?
Asking for what you want means you’re more likely to find it and receive it, she says.
In that case, it might be time for what I call a “Bless and Release.”
This is a moment for radically honest and kind communication.
Express what you want and expect the other person to have a healthy conversation about it.
you’re able to’t say the wrong thing to the right person.
Alternatives to the Three-Month Rule
The three-month rule may not be right for everyone.
It can be useful to use the three-month rule as more of a rough guide, instead.
Maybe you dont want to stick to the rule to the point where you suppress your feelings.
Be flexible, and pay attention to your gut.
Pay attention to how someone treats you and if your needs are being met.
But, its important to remember that every relationship is unique.
2024;2(6):22-46.
Rhoades GK, Stanley SM, Markman HJ.Should I stay or should I go?
Predicting dating relationship stability from four aspects of commitment.J Fam Psychol.
2010;24(5):543-550. doi:10.1037/a0021008
CNN.Dating?
Be Aware of the ‘3-Month Rule’.
