Another mother homeschools her kids while interviewing new caregivers for her parents and researching assisted care living facilities.
Each of these individuals is a caregiver, sandwiched between raising their kids and caring for their parents.
The balancing act, or lack thereof, exacts a heavy toll on their mental health.
Verywell / Adriana Sanchez
However, you cant help others without first helping yourself.
The strain caregivers feel isnt just physical, with being present for the kids and parents.
Its not just emotional, offering love and support.
Its also mental, struggling with the pain of not being able to meet everyones needs.
This is going to be a juggling act with the most pressing needs coming first, Adams asserts.
Caregivers are stuck with making hard choices.
Being thoughtful and realistic about what is doable will require practice and become easier in time, adds Adams.
Despite their best efforts, sandwiched caregivers often struggle mentally with a sense of guilt.
False guilt … just makes us feel like bad people.
Caregivers also experience grief.
They mourn the relationships they expected with their parents, and their kids.
There may be grief over a loss of companionship with a parent, as roles change.
Caregivers often become overwhelmed, experiencing anxiety,stress, and depression.
Creating a sense of order and structure helps.
notesRachael Benjamin, LCSW, Director,Tribeca Maternity.
Being kind can mean limiting your kids activities, to reduce the strain on your time and resources.
you might also dole out some of your other responsibilities, getting other family members to pitch in.
The kids can take on additional chores at home, like doing the laundry or cleaning the kitchen.
Your siblings can lend a hand with your parents care or following up on medical appointments.
Sometimes taking a step back to focus on the positives in life can be beneficial.
Be sure to find your pockets of time to decompress.
It could be the drive alone to and from your dads house.
Caregiving is not an easy task.
It requires dedication, focus, and a willingness to serve.
Ultimately, its important to show yourself the same care and compassion you show to others.
Benjamin recommends giving yourself a reminder.
I can be good enough.
Ill do the best that I can do and that will be good enough.
What This Means For You
Caregiving involves being patient, loving, and compassionate.
Its hard work, and can be mentally, physically, and emotionally draining.
US Bureau of Labor Statistics.Unpaid eldercare in the United States - 2017-2018 summary.
Family Caregiver Alliance.The emotional side of caregiving.
9(5):e1213.
