As an adult, this is especially true for romantic relationships.
Who doesn’t want to feel safe and secure in our relationships, right?
The good news is it can be done.
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But it takes time, effort, and often the help of a good therapist.
As marriage and family therapistRachel Goldbergexplains, this can happen at any point in your life.
Its more likely, though, that attachment style will change in adulthood.
This could be a case of secure attachment changing toinsecure attachment.
Moving from insecure to secure attachment, however, takes conscious work.
This is called earned secure attachment.
Factors Influencing Attachment Style Change
Attachment styles are created in our relationships with others.
But other things can impact attachment styles as well.
Goldberg says thattherapycan be highly beneficial in helping you change your attachment style.
This can lead to challenges when you make a run at change your attachment style.
This is because that person still remembers those feelings, but hasnt experienced them in their relationship until now.
Wrapping Up
Our attachment style can change.
While the shift might not be easy, it’s possible.
Its an ongoing process that we may find ourselves working on for the rest of our lives.
But with the right tools and support, we can achieve healthier relationships and feel safer in our connections.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Van Ryzin MJ, Carlson EA, Sroufe LA.Attachment discontinuity in a high-risk sample.Attachment & Human Development.
2013;23(23):R1057-R1062.
doi:10.1016/j.cub.2013.10.051
Child Mind Institute.What is co-regulation?
