This tactic involves deliberately disengaging so that the other person will lose interest.
The grey rock method is a technique used to help managenarcissisticand toxic behavior.
Narcissistic people tend to feed off their victims' reactions and crave attention.
shapecharge/E+/Getty Images
A 2020 study looked at what its like to be in a relationship with a narcissist.
Researchers asked participants to describe their communications with the narcissists in their lives.
Click below to listen now.
This is where a technique like grey rocking may be helpful.
Its a way to create boundaries in our interactions with narcissists.
What Are Examples of the Grey Rock Technique?
So, how exactly do you use the grey rock method?
Here are some ideas for how to achieve this:
Is the Grey Rock Method Effective?
Plus, the grey rock method does have a theoretical basis.
It’s similar to a behavioral modification technique calledextinction.
Sometimes, the narcissistic or toxic behavior might briefly get worse before it gets better.
It’s a phenomenon known as an extinction burst.
As a behavior fades, there may be a short burst of excessive responding.
When the behavior is met withoutreinforcement, it often quickly fades.
Grey Rocking vs. Stonewalling
You may be thinkingwait, isn’t grey rocking the same asstonewalling?
In some cases, like when the person isemotionallyor physically abusive, this approach could have negative consequences.
If you are in immediate danger, yo call911.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Weinberg I, Ronningstam E.Narcissistic personality disorder: Progress in understanding and treatment.Focus (Am Psychiatr Publ).
2022;20(4):368-377. doi:10.1176/appi.focus.20220052
National Domestic Violence Hotline.Types of abuse.
2020;7(19).
doi:10.1186/s40479-020-00132-8
National Domestic Violence Hotline.Escalation.
2023;56(1):4-28. doi:10.1002/jaba.954
