Communication, consent, respect, and pleasure are essential.
A healthy connection is one in which each person feels valued and safe.
It involves open communication, mutual consent, respect, and (of course!)
Colin Anderson Productions pty ltd / Getty Images
a focus on pleasure.
What Is a Healthy Sexual Relationship?
Such relationships are characterized by communication, thoughtfulness, andtrust.
Each person feels safetalking about their desires.
“A healthy sexual relationship is one with lots of communication.
Its a jot down of connection that feels both physically and emotionally fulfilling.
A healthy sexual relationship is fun, playful, and intimate.
Sexual partners must feel safe talking about their desires without fear of judgment.
It’s a part of beingsex-positiveand maintaining a liberated attitude toward sex that is free from shame and stigma.
This means that we need to feel confident discussing our boundaries.
And a lot of this comfort comes from knowing that our boundaries will be respected.
We also need to be comfortable sharing our concerns without fear of reprisal.
You should feel completely comfortable talking about your fantasies with your partner.
A healthy sexual relationship has no place for feelings of shame or embarrassment.
When people get busy, sometimes communication can suffer.
Make these discussions intentional and give them time.
It helps to ensure that actions are agreed upon beforehand and are welcomed by each person involved.
Consent is the golden rule in the bedroom (or anywhere else you might get intimate).
Understanding and Establishing Mutual Consent
Mutual consent is not a one-time discussion.
It is an ongoing conversation between sexual partners.
In any intimate encounter, prioritize explicit verbal consent.
Consent can be fun or sexy.
Verbal approval is essential when giving consent, but you could also back it up withnon-verbaltouches or gestures.
Your voice matters in your relationship, including in the bedroom.
Showing respect involves showing one another consideration and kindness.
It also meanshonoring one anothers boundaries.
Knowing that your partner respects and values you is empowering.
It allows you to be your most authentic self more comfortably.
Respect is also a cornerstone ofemotional intimacy.
Having your partner’s respect and care creates a space where you could be vulnerable and intimate with them.
This deepens the intimacy and trust that you share.
How to Maintain Respect in a Relationship
you could show respect by listening and valuing your partner.
Pay attention to their needs and desires.
Respect involves treating your partner as an equal without stereotyping or objectifying them.
It also means that neither of you should be made to feel guilty for turning down sex.
You should need to come up with excuseslike having a headache or being too tired.
If youre not in the mood, then youre not in the mood.
Nothing more needs to be said.
This doesnt just mean physical satisfaction.
Emotional satisfaction is also a pillar of a fulfilling sexual connection.
A vibrant sex life involves keeping these fresh and finding ways to bring new energy to your intimate life.
Try talking about things you might like to try, but be sure to respect each other’s boundaries.
If you try something that doesn’t feel right, it’s OK to change your mind and stop.
It’s also a great way to learn more about what you and your partner enjoy.
Foreplay can be a build-up to the main event, or it can be the main event itself!
Prioritizing Emotional Intimacy
Intimacy is about more than sex.
It is about feeling close and connected to someone.
When you feel an emotional connection with your partner, you’re often able to feel moresexually intimatewith them.
Feeling good during sex is about more than the main event.
And research has shown that being present is one of the key elements of satisfying sex.
And in case you need more convincingthe link between intimacy and sexual satisfaction is backed up by science.
In other wordsgreater intimacy leads to more frequent and more rewarding sex.
Everyone has different intimacy needs.
Like other areas of your relationship, communication and boundaries are key.
Exploring these things together and having ongoing conversations is all part of the process.
It’s OK to not know exactly what you want or are comfortable with.
There’s no shame in saying that your sex education sucked.
There are many tools and resources out there that can help.
It’s OK to admit that this can be daunting or even a little scary, particularly at first.
Thinking about how youd like to approach these topics and what youd like to say can be helpful.
Couples Therapy Can Provide Insights
Maybe your sex life is on the rocks.
Or maybe it’s alright, but you feel it could be even better.
In either case,couples therapyorsex therapycan be a great option.
Couples therapy can be magical.
“There is also a tremendous amount of material out there you’ve got the option to consume.
My go-to recommendation for many couples is the book ‘Come As You Are,'” she suggests.
So dont be afraid to learn more about your own needs andask for what you wantin the bedroom.
Just remember to ensure that communication, consent, respect, and pleasure are top priorities.
Toward a definition of sexual need responsiveness.Arch Sex Behav.
2022;51(8):3735-3747. doi:10.1007/s10508-022-02432-2
National Coalition for Sexual Health.A guide to sexual concerns and pleasure.
OHSU Center for Women’s Health.The benefits of a healthy sex life.
2018;44(2):201-212. doi:10.1080/0092623X.2017.1346530
Kleinplatz PJ, Menard AD.Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers.
2020;110(2):145-148. doi:10.2105/AJPH.2019.305320
National Coalition for Sexual Health.Five action steps to good sexual health.
