How do I tell my husband that I need more space without hurting his feelings?
Amy’s Answer
Its understandable that you want some time for yourself.
It sounds like you require more solitude than your husband.
Verywell / Catherine Song
So its important to ask for what you need.
Getting thesolitude you needcan charge your batteries and help you feel your best.
Create a Plan
Telling your husband that you need more space isnt likely to be effective.
The more specific you’ve got the option to get, the better.
Communicating exactly what you needand your plan for making that happencan prevent a lot of hurt feelings later on.
Communicate Your Needs
The way you express your needs will make a big difference.
Saying, You always follow me around!
will be received differently than, I need some solitude to feel my best.
Make it clear that you want to be the best person and thebest partner you could be.
Alone time is a key ingredient in making that happen.
Reassure your husband that your need for space has nothing to do with him or your relationship.
Its just that your personality requires more solitude than his.
Explain that things feel worse when he follows you.
Ultimately, you arent responsible for your husbands feelings though.
This doesnt mean you did anything wrong.
He may feel abandoned when you want to be alone.
His anxiety might start to go up as he starts imagining hes done something wrong.
Or he may get upset with himself for thinking he should be fulfilling your every need.
If hes upset, empathize with him and show compassion but stick to your boundaries.
Youre establishing a rule that will help you feel and do your best.
Your husband doesnt have to like or even understand it.
But its something youre doing because you know its key to having a healthier relationship.
