Verywell / Dennis Madamba
Its easy tofall in love.
However, co-creating a successful relationship that stands the test of time is a different story.
Making love stay can be a mystery to most of us.
Verywell / Dennis Madamba
As a professional matchmaker and relationship coach, Ive worked with many couples working on their relationships.
Ive learned there are infinite ways we can support and care for our partner.
Excessive time together can lead totaking each other for grantedand overlooking the essence of your partner as an individual.
During time apart, carve out space where you might feel like the protagonist of your own life again.
Treat yourself as kindly as you want to be treated by your loved ones.
Enjoy the activities and interests that make you happy.
I believe romantic love is beautiful, but so is community, familial, self-love, andplatonic love.
These connections can feel just as fulfilling and heart-bursting as what you have with your partner.
This level ofvulnerabilityis giving your partner access to the fullness of your being.
Such openness allows you both to experience each other in the rawest, most authentic form.
Yet, there will always be aspects that will remain a mystery.
Avoid assuming that you have each other entirely figured out.
Instead, embrace the unknown and use that feeling to stay interested and open to your partner.
Cultivating this sense of unpredictable excitement protects you from taking each other for granted.
As you embrace the unexpected, it’ll keep you both on your toes and nurture adaptability.
Healthy couples possess an insatiable curiosity about one another, consistently asking questions and learning more about each other.
This inquisitive nature extends to navigating disagreements with understanding rather than defensiveness.
Curiosity ensures you remain invested in the true space that exists between you and your partner.
By nurturing an ever-present sense of wonder, your relationship flourishes and thrives, keeping the spark alive.
Dont Be Afraid of Conflict, Learn From Your Fights
In any relationship, disagreements are inevitable.
Identifying yourconflict stylebeforehand is beneficial, as it allows you to slow down and approach conflicts more mindfully.
A good relationship lies in your ability to negotiate differences and manage conflicts compassionately.
So, share your needs, boundaries, and unsaid expectations without any fear.
At the end of a blow-out fight, shrugging it off with an apology isnt enough.
Not if you want to be in a long-lasting commitment with them.
Learning how to respond, not react, is a skill.
To delve into the concept of compatibility, let’s start by examining the word’s etymology.
“Compatibility” finds its roots in the Latin wordcompatiwhich translates to “to suffer with.”
True compatibility extends far beyond sharing similar goals, shared values, and having families that get along.
you’re able to have those similarities with most people.
Compatibility is a conscious, wide-eyed choice to work together and stand by each other through thick and thin.
You choose to support each other through sickness and health and for better and worse.
True compatibility is a profound feeling of safety that you’re able to make a life off of.
This process empowers you to discover a sense of wholeness within yourself and co-regulate with others for new experiences.
Unfortunately, secureattachment stylescan sometimes be misunderstood and underestimated.
Having a secure attachment style is often associated with traits like responsiveness, availability, and predictability.
Contrary to common belief, being in a secure relationship can be incredibly transformative.
Your partner becomes a catalyst for self-discovery, revealing layers of healing that still require attention and growth.
But the good news is your partner can be a safe space as you grow into healthier patterns.
The relationship serves as a powerful mirror, reflecting both your strengths and areas in need of improvement.
Final Thoughts
Having a long-lasting relationship doesnt happen overnight.
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