Its important to have dating standards that are right for you.
Usually, we come up with 10 to 15 non-negotiables.
For example, is this person spiritually aligned with them or do they want to have a family?
Verywell Mind / Stocksy
Then reframe the issue into a positive behavior you desire in a relationship.
[Then] screen people against that value, says Leadingham.
However, the list does not consist of someones height or what kind of car they drive.
So, if a persons list includes those kinds of qualities, then it might be time to reevaluate.
People dont get divorced because someone isnt tall enough.
Dont settle for someone who violates your relationship dealbreakers.
That guys standards are stratospheric, bordering on delusional, says Barrett.
You want to aim high for your partner, but you also want to temper your aspirations with realism.
For example, he references his client Aaron who met a woman named Alexandra.
He was trying to decide if he should ask her to be his long-term romantic partner.
She met his standards, and he seemed to meet hers.
Alexandra is more of a homebody, says Barrett.
And theyre now a very happy couple, Barrett says.
For example, Leadingham worked with a client who wanted to date someone with a college degree.
In her mind, she believed that if he had a degree, he would be ambitious.
As she started dating men with degrees, she quickly realized the two didnt correlate.
The men she met had a degree but werent driven in life, says Leadingham.
People tend to put their best foot forward in the beginning when they like you.
Your goal is to see who they are when they arent trying to impress you, Leadingham says.
Gravitate toward dating people who make you feel Hell yes!
Strongly consider the Maybe optionsperhaps theyll grow on you.
And run away from the Hell No!
people, he says.
Key takeaways on Americans views of and experiences with dating and relationships.
