Ask how they are or what’s going on in their life.
Be there for them.
And, where are they?
Verywell Mind / Getty Images
Nowhere to be found.
After a while, you begin wondering if youwant to be friends at all.
If youre the one whos always giving but never receiving, you might be in a one-sided friendship.
Signs of a One-Sided Friendship
One-sided relationships are sometimes easy to spot.
But sometimes you might not realize you’re in the midst of one until time has passed.
The first sign of a one-sided friendship is the lack of reciprocity in communication.
You’re always the one reaching out first.
This dynamic can leave you feeling emotionally drained.
If you suspect the friendship might be one-sided, start analyzing your interactions and asking yourself a few questions.
Is there a noticeable imbalance in the emotional support you are giving versus receiving?
Are you the one who is always listening, helping, and comforting, while they rarely reciprocate?
Another way to assess your friendship is by paying attention to their responses to your problems or accomplishments.
In ahealthy, balanced friendship, theyll react enthusiastically and be eager to celebrate your achievements.
However, in one-sided friendships, responses will likely involve indifference or jealousy.
This jot down oftoxic friendshipcan hurt your self-esteem and self-worth.
No one can give the same level of responsiveness all the time.
You’re questioning why the other person isnt as committed to the friendship as you are.
It can hurt your self-worth and make you wonder why your efforts arent being reciprocated.
It May Affect Your Other Relationships
One-sided relationships also pose a risk to your other relationships.
It Can Stifle Personal Growth
Quality friendships can help you grow as a person.
You may be wary of making new friends and begin creating emotional walls to keep people from hurting you.
This fear can hold you back from forming more healthy, authentic, and mutual friendships.
All of which makes it harder to meet new people who might just make wonderful, supportive friends.
Healthy friendships are a two-way street, and everyone deserves to feel valued and supported.
Understanding the Dynamics
Why do one-sided friendships happen?
This pattern can make them prone toone-sided relationships.
In such cases, they naturally fall into the role of being the receiver in the friendship.
Imbalanced Emotional Labor
Emotional laborrefers to mental activity required to manage tasks and maintain relationships.
Over time, this imbalance can create feelings of exhaustion and resentment.
Being apeople-pleasercan complicate this further.
Poor Reciprocity
Theprinciple of reciprocityis important in all types of relationships.
If you’ve overlooked this imbalance in your relationship, it’s time to reassess.
However, there are things you could do to salvage the friendship and steer it toward a healthier balance.
Its easy to fall into a pattern and let things just continue as they are.
Especially if you’re afraid of rocking the boat.
But acknowledging the reality is essential.
Remember, youre not being overly sensitive or petty.
Dontgaslightyourself into thinking that the problem isnt real.
If you feel constantly undervalued and drained by the friendship, those feelings are valid.
Do you think your friend is aware of the imbalance?
Are they behaving this way intentionally or unintentionally?
Groskopf says an important first step is to consider the friendship dynamic.
Think about how you and your friend handle relationships, she suggests.
Let your friend know that its important for both of you to keep the friendship healthy.
The goal isnt to point fingers or lay blame.
Instead, approach this conversation with empathy and assertiveness.
Focus on what you are feeling instead of their actions (or lack of actions).
Use"I feel" statementsto avoid sounding accusatory and reducedefensiveness.
Dont expect immediate change since old habits often die hard.
Be patient and give them the chance to adjust.
Request Specific Support
Groskopf also recommends being direct and specific about thetype of supportyou need.
Sometimes friends don’t know what you need unless you tell them, she explains.
Ask for specific help or support.
For instance, ‘Can you check in with me this week?
Ive had a rough time and could use some encouragement.’
Be Ready to Take Further Steps
Groskopf says assessing and adjusting is essential.
Regularly evaluate the friendships balance, she advises.
If the imbalance continues, Eisenberg suggests it may be time to reconsider your friendship.
Think about the overall value of the friendship, he recommends.
Does it still bring you joy and fulfillment?
If not, it might be time to step back.
You deserve supportive people who are happy to be there when you need them.
It’s not easy, of course.
Ending a friendship never is.
But taking care of yourself means letting some friendships go.
This doesn’t mean you’ve failedit’s a sign of growth and self-respect.
Tips for Ending a One-Sided Friendship
Not all friendships are made to last.
Sometimes, a friendship breakup is the best thing for your well-being.
It’s OK to step back from relationships that drain more than they give.
So, what can you do to let go of a one-sided friendship?
If things are going to continue, they need to make the investment and put forth the effort.
Stop Making Contact
Once you’ve decided toend the friendship, stop reaching out.
Don’t text or call.
You might miss them and think of them but stick to your resolve.
If the other person reaches out, be willing to hear them out and give them another chance.
Maintain boundaries to protect yourself from being taken advantage of again.
Focus on Other Friendships
Even when it is your decision, terminating a friendship is never easy.
It’s normal to feel angry, sad, or a range of emotions.
One coping mechanism is dedicating time to your other friendships.
They can provide support, reinforce your self-worth, and demonstrate the characteristics ofhealthy, supportive relationships.
Cultivating Healthy and Balanced Friendships
Great friendships take time and effort.
But both parties need to be invested in growing and maintaining this link.
What can you do to help build healthier, more balanced friendships in the future?
There will be times when you’re giving more, but the same goes for your friend too.
Talk About Your Friendship
Open communicationis also key.
Sure, these conversations aren’t themostcomforting, but talking openly can help foster greater closeness and authenticity.
You might say something like: Hey, it seems like Im the one making all the plans lately.
Why dont you make plans for our next meet-up?
Just text me to let me know what youd like to do!
As the friendship grows, remind yourself that you cant pour from an empty cup.
That means making sure you are taking care of yourself.
Friendships are more likely to feel balanced when each person is at their best.
Takeaways
Giving more than you are receiving can beemotionally draining.
venture to address the imbalance.
If things dont change, reconsider the friendship.
Its not easy, but having healthy, balanced, and supportive relationships in your life is crucial.
doi:10.7717/peerj.4831
Khullar, T. H., Kirmayer, M. H., & Dirks, M. A.
