Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP, is a lot of things.
Shes a doctor, board-certified in clinical child and adolescent psychology.
Shes a highly sought-after speaker and writer on parenting, childrens mental health, and racism.
Verywell / Alex Dos Diaz
Shes a parent coach and is a parent herself.
With almost 60,000Instagramfollowers, she’s even something of a parenting influencer.
For kids and parents alike, these are uncharted waters.
For that reason, we sat down with Dr. Lockhart to get her take on, well, everything.
This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.
They had to fast-track conversations about social media or Internet safety.
It forced a lot of parents to fast forward their parenting.
Dr. Lockhart:I hope so.
How it can be a good thing is to model to our children psychological and behavioral flexibility.
Sometimes you have a plan, and then something happens.
Life happens, emergencies or crises happen, and you have to make a shift.
If we can allow ourselves tobe flexible, then we can model that for our kids.
but Ive heard many people are offended by the word now.
Resilient kids have to be resilient because theyve been traumatized.
Because theyve been stressed and have this heavy burden upon them, resilience is anadaptation to that trauma.
But also, kidsaremore resilient.
Ingalls:We also know that kids often express issues with their mental health indifferent or unexpected ways.
How can parents better recognize and deal with distress?
I think a lot of kids have sought connection through conflict.
Its a different way to connect, but youre still connecting.
And then meet that comfort, that need.
It just seems like it could snowball from there.
Dr. Lockhart:Yes, exactly.
I feel more refreshed, and so certain behaviors that they do actually feel less frustrating.
Its about whether or not our needs have been met, and how we respond.
And then were telling them to have a balanced life but were not modeling that.
Ingalls:Does your mental health and parenting expertise ever come into play with your own parenting?
Dr. Lockhart:People are much more receptive to an intervention or strategy if they understand why its effective.
Ingalls:How has it been for you as a mental health professional during the pandemic?
Have you felt added strain?
Dr. Lockhart:I dont think its added strain, but its added ahuge demand, exponential demand.
Ingalls:We talked before about self-care; what are some of your go-to strategies?
I have date nights with my husband.
Oh, and changing up my hair oftenmy clients often comment on that.
Ingalls:What are some things that parents can teach their kids about self-care?
Things we know they can handle and that will help them throughout the day?
Again, we dont have to be a martyr in the process.
Those are hard conversations.
Dr. Lockhart:Its tricky because it depends on what youre struggling with and the kids age.
Thats where we have to really be cautious.
And we can tell our kids,Im struggling right now.
And Im feeling overwhelmed because theres so much going on at work.
This is why theyre feeling this, and this is what the strategy is to address it.
And that, to me, is greatmodeling.
Ingalls:How do you see things moving forward?
Ingalls:For kids, this has been a much bigger percentage of their life.
They dont really have other reference points.
Dr. Lockhart:Absolutely.
I think a lot of parents think that theyre shielding their kids by not talking about certain topics.
Youre not shielding them because they probably already know more than you.
Parenting has to be approached differently because we cant parent todays kids the way we were parented.
