Given all thestereotypesof being lazy and scatterbrained, people dont usually link ADHD to perfectionism.
But for those with ADHD, its an all-too-common reality.
These decisions can then have negative consequences that further reinforce the idea that theyre worthless.
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This can make you feel so powerless over your own life and fill you with frustration and shame.
You bought the little planner.
You made the to-do list.
You broke the tasks into bite-size chunks.
You set all the timers.
And then, you just didnt do itor you started doing some of it but then got derailed.
For some, perfectionism becomes an unhealthy coping mechanism.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Its not enough to get accepted into college, it’s crucial that you get into an ivy league.
Say you dont get accepted into an ivy league but you do get into one of your safety schools.
But you might still have ambition and you dont have to settle for mediocrity or disappointment.
The goal is to find positive ways to motivate yourself and manage your ADHD.
Here are a few tips for keeping your perfectionism in check.
In the beginning, my overly-critical brain wasnt really convinced.
The mistakes still seemed to largely outweigh any of the accomplishments.
But with time, the balance shifted.
Some of the mistakes I used to find turned out not to really be mistakes.
Some were easy fixes, and some were legitimate areas where I needed improvement.
But above all, I learned to recognize my strengths and what I was doing right.
Even legitimate mistakes werent a sign of utter failure anymore.
They were just a few areas that needed to be polished in an otherwise strong piece of work.
Instead, it took the pressure off.
The more I looked for the positives in others, the easier it was to find them in myself.
I also stopped assuming everyone else was secretly judging me as harshly as I was judging them.
Dont Dismiss Praise
If youre a perfectionist,its easy to dismiss any praise you get.
They had to say it, but they didnt really mean it.
They dont even know enough to see how many mistakes I actually made.
It may be hard to quiet those thoughts.
But, as a starting point, commit to no longer verbally dismissing that praise.
Instead of saying, It really wasnt that good or Youre just being nice, just say thank you.
Learning to at least pretend you accept the praise is a step toward internalizing it.
Revisit and Redefine Your Expectations
Being ambitious is one thing.
Expecting the impossible from yourself is another.
Why are you pursuing this goal?
What are the benefits of living up to these standards you set?
You might expect yourself to complete a project that realistically takes four days in four hours.
