Later, I found myself in asituationshipand head-over-heels smitten.
I really liked him.
Over several weeks, we went on back-to-back dates that lasted for hours.
Delmaine Donson / Getty Images
When he returned, he called to cut things off.
Our final conversation was quick and kindhe was dating someone else and he wanted to know her better.
We wished each other well and never spoke again.
Although I barely knew him, what surprised me was how hard the pain of the situationship hit.
For a long time, I struggled getting over the fact that I wasnt being chosen by him.
In comparison togetting over my long-term ex, grieving this seemed more difficult.
Turns out, Im not alone.
Theres been mutual work invested and continually invested to build and deepen trust, vulnerability, and accountability.
You may discuss your shared future openly, thus creating a generous sense of support and security.
A situationship is an undefined, noncommital, convenient, no-strings-attached connection.
Sinceboundariesare so hazy, situationships are often spontaneous, ambiguous, and undefined.
At its best, youll feel the euphoric highs of thehoneymoon stage.
Every interaction with them feels raw, alive, unpredictable, freeing, and fun.
You never know whats happening next.
At its worst, its exactly that.
You never know whats happening next.
But what makes a situationship uniquely sting can be its unexpected nature.
I went into a hookup looking to have fun and walked out feeling like I wasnt good enough.
At its worst, its exactly that.
You never know whats happening next.
Because of its brief nature and limited intimacy, they struggled validating their sadness which complicated the emotional release.
This stuck energy, among many other reasons, is why ending a situationship can be acutely painful.
Studies show experiencing a breakup leads to depression vulnerability and stress-related coping.
Do what you needto feel better after a breakup.
Most importantly, afford yourself the non-judgmental grace of grieving your situationship.
Your feelings are valid and you might take time to get over the breakup the way you need.
Keep in Mind
Situationships are notorious for their casual, commitment-free nature.
Denying yourself that experience can make situationships feel more painful than they actually are.
Give yourself the permission to experience your feelings in their full spectrum.
2019;14(5):e0217320.
Gracanin A, Bylsma LM, Vingerhoets AJJM.Is crying a self-soothing behavior?Front Psychol.
Simic G, Tkalcic M, Vukic V, et al.Understanding emotions: origins and roles of the amygdala.Biomolecules.
2021;11(6):823.
