That didnt fit what I was going through.

I even wanted to go to an Ivy league and become a journalist.

I could only work if I was working in a panic.

And even then, my interests shifted constantly so I couldnt always rely on them.

I still didnt know what was wrong with me.

My life just kept looking less and less like the one that I wanted.

It wasnt until well into adulthood that I would finally receivethe right diagnosis.

But once I did, all the symptoms Id been struggling with my whole life clicked into place.

When I started medication, it felt like there wasnt any resistance anymore.

I could see a task on my list and just do it.

The wall had come down.

This is what one day in the life with ADHD looks like for me.

ADHD Diaries

6:45 A.M.: My alarm goes off.

I hit snooze and go back to sleep.

Instead, I’ve developed a new routine of hitting snooze and waking up for real hours later.

8:16 A.M.: I wake up for real and make coffee.

I chose the begonia specifically because I read that it’s adapted to long spells without rain.

“It’s vulnerable to root rot if it gets too much water,” a website told me.

“So it’s better to underwater it than overwater it.”

That sounded like a good match for my unreliable andsporadic motivationto maintain even the simplest routines.

But that inconsistent and completely unpredictable schedule has kept its roots rot-free and alive for almost three years now.

9:24 A.M.: I sit down at my desk to startwork.

The plan was to start at 8:30.

But I woke up to two text messages that I couldn’t answer until I’d had some coffee.

Nearly an hour passed before I looked at the clock.

It only felt like five minutes.

I didn’t notice the time again until 11:09 A.M.

I decide its time to take meds.

Most days, I give a shot to do at least some work in the mornings without them.

My to-do list feels less insurmountable but I’m still behind where I should be.

And that will mean I’m liable to wake up already feeling overwhelmed and unable to get anything done.

So I typically end up avoiding texts for days or weeks (which makes the problem worse).

My New Year’s resolution this year was to respond to texts within 24 hours.

Two weeks in, I modified it to “within the week.”

So far, I haven’t even been able to stick to that one.

Even though today is yet another unfinished day, I have to admit that its a major improvement.

I take a stab at remind myself of that.

But the wall is still up.

I resolve once again to just turn off my computer and give myself permission to rest.

They might look similar, but only one is actually restorative and helpful.

Im practicing, though, and slowly, my breaks are approaching something more like actual rest.

Soon, I was working too much and commitments started slipping through the cracks.

Only this time, it wasnt because I was beating my head against a wall.

It was because I simply had too much on my plate.

I havent fully convinced myself of that yet, but Im working on it.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Ross DC, Fischhoff J,Davenport B.

Treatment of adhd when tolerance to methylphenidate develops.PS.

238, 2016, pp.