Such breaks can serve a variety of purposes.
Time apart can help people calm down and return to the situation with a cooler head.
The key is what comes next when you press play again.
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How do you reconnect after a break and move forward with the relationship?
At a Glance
Reconnecting after a break is critical for the future health of the relationship.
If done right, it allows you to move forward with a better understanding of yourself and your partner.
Can a Relationship Come Back from a Break?
Reconnecting after a relationship breakup isn’t all that uncommon.
Research has found that around half of young adults report breaking up and later reconciling.
If you are both committed to trying again, then theres a strong chance you might successfully reconnect.
Heres how to do it.
It’s all-too-easy to focus on what our partners have done wrong, she says.
Acknowledge the Past
Rekindling a connection after a relationship break requires acknowledging past mistakes.
Holding onto emotional wounds increases the likelihood that those same issues will rear their heads again in the future.
This can help restore theintimacyand connection you once shared.
The egos job is to protect us from hurtful truths about ourselves," she explains.
However, that can be a problem if we hold inaccurate or untruthful beliefs.
“There can be no repair without accountability,” Zavislak says.
Everyone brings their own unique experiences, intentions, and expectations to a relationship.
Zavislak suggests visualizing this conversation and practicing it in your head first.
What happens if this conversation becomes an airing of past grievances?
Zavislak recommends using the Gottman strategy for processing unfortunate incidents.
Zavislak says such conversations might sound something like this:
“Thats it!
Its awkward, but it works.
Keep Communicating
Reconnecting after a break in a relationship also requires having difficult conversations.
To do this, its vital that you both feel safe sharing your feelings and your fears.
As you have such conversations,listen activelyandvalidate each other’s feelings.
Through this process, its vital to respect one anothersboundaries.
First, you better figure out what those boundaries are, Engler says.
Without doing this, you’ll only recognize them when they’ve been crossed.
Plus, you cant tell your partner about your boundaries unless you identify them first.
But how do you communicate your boundaries once you’ve identified them?
“Clear and kind is the name of the game on this part,” Engler says.
“Framing boundaries as demands is not helpful and sets partners up as adversaries.”
How Long Is Our Break Supposed to Last?
There is no single answer that is right for every situation.
Other couples may need a few weeks or even months apart to heal before they think about reconnecting.
The important thing is to establish some time limits and ground rules at the start of the break.
Create a tentative timeframe for how long you think you’ll need to be apart.
How much time apart is too much?
When it comes to taking a break, it all boils down to the reasons behind it.
Dos and Donts When Youre on a Break
What should you do when youre on a break?
What shouldnt you do during a break?
Approach the relationship with an open heart and a willingness to let go of past mistakes.
Reconnecting after a breakup isn’t always smooth or easy.
However, you could start again on the right foot and foster a healthier, happier relationship.
2023;13(1):21. doi:10.1038/s41398-022-02303-3
