Let’s explore those signs as well as the impact this may have on your relationship with your partner.
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What Is an Emotional Affair?
Emotional affairs usually begin as friendships.
Studio Firma / Stocksy
Someplatonic relationshipscan slowly morph into deep emotional friendships.
There usually is no intention for these bonds to become anything more.
Regardless, the line is thin between close friendships and emotional affairs.
Furthermore,emotionalaffairs can also quickly lead toflirtationand sexual encounters.
“A meaningful emotional connection is important for the foundation of any relationship, platonic or romantic.
This includes spending time together in person but also having frequent contact when you are not together.
For example, you often communicate with this person at questionable hours.
They become the first person you want to call with any news.
You may not besharing with your partnervery much at all.
It may also be a signal that you aren’t prioritizing your relationship enough.
Constant Thoughts
The person you are having an emotional affair with becomes the focus of your attention.
When you are getting dressed, you may have this person in mind hoping they will notice your appearance.
This may sound a lot like a typical close friendshipand it certainly may be just that!
You discuss very personal topics, such as the problems in your current relationship.
You share all or most of your problems and concerns with this person.
Because you are idealizing this other person, your partner begins to look worse in your eyes.
You may find yourself being morecritical of your partner.
You may be falling prey to the fallacy that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Secrecy
You start to lie or keep secrets.
This usually entails lying by omission.
For example, you might delete messages from your phone or deny the communication you had when asked.
You are hiding things or lying when you know deep down that the behavior is not okay.
If so, that’s a sign things have possibly gone too far.
Less Time for Your Partner
Your partner gets less of you while your special person gets more.
Spending time with others outside your relationship and having emotional connections is not normally a problem.
Impact of Emotional Affairs
These types of affairs can seem like a vacation from your everyday life.
You only get the best of this other person, and they see the best of you.
You do not see them 24/7 and learn about their bad habits and less attractive features.
It takes time and effort to build an emotional connection with another person.
Avoiding emotional affairs doesn’t mean limiting contact with others or not sharing emotional connections with your friends.
Those relationships are essential forsocial supportand psychological well-being.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Warning signs and risk factors for emotional distress.
U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.
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