Venturing beyond “what’s up?”
Wow, fingers crossed.
Now comes the million-dollar question: do you wait for them to reach out orinitiatea conversation?
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This task seems like it should be easy.
Just punch in out a quick hello and hit send.
How quickly did those conversations fizzle out?
So why not take charge and break the cycle?
Why Is Starting a Conversation So Dang Hard?
With online dating, your competition isnt a few other single people in a bar.
Being guilty of this is why I often found myself overthinking every word, punctuation mark, and emoji.
Andthe fear of rejectionis even more terrifying than making a good first impression.
The reality is when were swiping, we make many split-second decisions.
Do they love hiking?
Are they obsessed with a particular TV show?
These work perfectly for an opener message.
For instance, you could say, I saw you love hiking!
Do you have a favorite trail?
Im always looking for new places to explore.
You could go, I noticed your photo in Tokyo; Ive been dying to visit!
What do their photos or bio say about their personality?
Are they adventurous, creative, or a goofball?
This could be a poster behind them in a photo or a tattoo you noticed on their arm.
If its a thing you relate to, reference that or ask them what inspired the tattoo.
Its a great way to make them feel special from the start.
When all else fails, use humor
Opening with a joke is a fantastic icebreaker.
Just be careful with what you choose to joke about.
So, keep it light and fun, and avoid anything that could come off as controversial or inappropriate.
Foolproof Conversation Starters
Now youve come up with the perfect opener, fantastic!
But what do you do when the conversation stalls or comes to a natural end?
How do you restart it in an easy, breezy way?
Here are some conversation starters (or restarters) you might keep in your back pocket.
Light-hearted debates
Not about politics and never religion, at least not just yet.
Hypothetical scenarios
These are great if youre up for getting creative.
Hypothetical scenarios are always fun and can provide hours worth of conversation material.
For instance, Youve got a great smile!
What were you laughing about in that photo?
Dont panic; an awkward conversation doesnt have to mean the end of a potential connection.
Sometimes, the best way to handle a rough start is to call it out light-heartedly.
Acknowledge the awkwardness and ask for a reset.
Ill bet the other person would jump at the chance for a do-over.
Owning up to the awkwardness can be endearing and shows thatyoure not taking yourself too seriously.
If things are fizzling…
Try steering the conversation in a new direction.
You could bring up a new topic or ask a question that reignites their interest.
It doesnt have to be anything serious, just something that gets them thinking and talking again.
Can we start over from zero?"
That way, you leave the old conversation behind naturally and keep moving forward.
Can we start over from zero?.
Then you combine a compliment and a restart, which is quite smooth, says Ross.
If things feel dull or awkward…
If the conversation has taken a dull or awkward turn, try using humor to lighten things up.
Share a funny story, a meme, or a light-hearted joke related to something theyve mentioned.
Humor can quickly shift the mood and make the conversation fun again.
It also shows youre not afraid to be playful and silly.
However, a gentle follow-up is okay if youve sent a message and havent heard back.
Keep it light and low-pressure, and give them an easy out if theyre uninterested.
Embrace the awkward moments, as therell be many, and let your personality do the heavy lifting.
The right person will appreciate the real you, not a perfectly curated version.
More internet matches are leading to happy marriages.
Getting beyond small talk: Study finds people enjoy deep conversations with strangers.APA
