That person is probably a very emotionally intelligent individual.

At a Glance

Emotionally intelligent people tend to be self-aware, empathetic, expressive, and perceptive.

They are good at regulating their emotions and staying motivated as they work toward their goals.

Business people having a meeting in cafe

Sydney Roberts / Digital Vision / Getty Images

They also have strong social skills and use their understanding of emotions to communicate effectively.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

The philosopher Aristotle described what it means to be emotionally intelligent hundreds of years before the term became popular.

He said:

“Anyone can become angrythat is easy.

People sometimes refer to emotional intelligence as EQ (emotional quotient).

This involves the ability to manage your emotions and the emotions of others.

Characteristics oflow emotional intelligenceinclude insensitivity, poor coping skills, emotional outbursts, and self-centeredness.

Part of self-awareness also involves being aware of how your emotions and moods influence other people.

This ability to monitor your own emotional states is a basic requirement for emotional intelligence.

Emotionally intelligent people think before they act on their feelings.

They are in tune with how they feel, but they do not let their emotions rule their lives.

Motivation

Emotionally intelligent people are motivated to achieve their goals.

They are capable of managing their behaviors and feelings so you can achieve long-term success.

Social Skills

Emotionally intelligent people tend to have strong social skills.

This is likely because they are so attuned to their own feelings as well as those of others.

Expressiveness

Sometimes people areempathsand in tune with their emotions, but struggle to actually share these feelings with others.

Emotionally intelligent people not only understand feelings, they know how to express them appropriately.

What exactly do we mean byappropriately?

Imagine, for example, that you just had a particularly awful day at work.

You are tired, frustrated, and angry about how things went at an important meeting.

Perceptiveness

Imagine that you find yourself getting frustrated and angry with a co-worker.

As you assess your feelings, analyze what you’re really upset about.

Emotionally intelligent people are able to look at the situation and correctly identify the true source of their feelings.

How to Become More Emotionally Intelligent

Contrary to popular belief, you could learn emotional intelligence.

Children and adults alike can learn to strengthen EQ.

To start, try reflecting on your level of self-awareness.

For instance, are you aware of your emotions?

Do you understand how your emotions impact your beliefs and your behaviors?

Do you notice how your behaviors impact others around you?

Mindfulness

Mindfulness techniquescan help you become more present with your thoughts and emotions.

A therapist will teach you healthy coping mechanisms to handle difficult emotions and improve your relationships.

There are also SEL programs for adults.

For instance, do you respond to an argument by confronting the other person, shutting down, orapologizing?

These are examples of the types of questions you’ll find on EQ tests.

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