When our danger was being eaten by a lion, thinking the worst served us.
At best, it saved us from being dinner; at worst, it saved us from being dinner.
Our brain’s purpose is to keep us safe, not keep us happy or even comfortable.
Verywell Mind / Stocksy / Getty Images
Thats why it can take significant effort to overcome those negative thoughts.
But what if I move to California and Im still depressed?
I asked my therapist at the time.
Or, what if you move to California, and its amazing?
I think thats more likely, my therapist said.
The force of her words sent a positive surge of energy throughout my body.
And after nearly five years in the Golden State, Im so happy to say that she was right.
Over time, ourneural pathwaysbecome like well-worn grooves on an ice rink.
How to Try These Positive What-Ifs
Bring to mind the what-if youre spiraling over.
(Its probably pretty close to the surface!)
Close your eyes and take a fewdeep, diaphragmatic breaths.
Feel the discomfort and unease of sitting with this what-if.
This time, however, you will ask yourself a new question.
it’s possible for you to either ask it aloud or just think it to yourself.
Observe how youre feeling now.
It probably wont be a complete 180, but any positive movement is a win.
What if the best happens?
What if the worst does happenbut Im OK?
There was no way to best-case scenario that, short of hoping for a long-shot miracle.
)The thing is, therearemany scenarios where the worst will happen to usandwe will be OK, eventually.
What if this is actually a blessing in disguise?
What if it all does work out?
What if I were to trust the process?
Which leads me to this.
(As well as my favorite memedoes the process know we’re trusting it?!)
When you realize this, you find a certain kind of freedom.
What if Im loved more than I ever thought I could be?
What if I already know the answer?
We so often complicate things because we’re afraid to listen to ourselves.
What if the best is yet to come?
What if I was strong enough all along?
How would your life change if you thought this?
What if I got everything I wanted?
What if I had all the support I needed?
What if this was the time it all worked out?
Statistically, it’s bound to happen some time.
What if I could handle it all?
What if I’m already more successful than I know?
Just think: there are people who want to be where you are right now.
What if I wasn’t actually stuck at all?
What if I were already free?
Key to this point is differentiating pain and suffering.
What if I were smarter than I realized?
This thought is particularly liberatingyou will find that thinking the opposite was never doing you any favors.
What if that person didnt mean to hurt me?
What if I were better prepared than I realize?
What if I realized I wasnt the only one who felt this way?
Situations may be different, but most human emotions are fairly universal.
What if I were already ready?
What if it was never about me in the first place?
This one comes up often in our interpersonal relationships.
Often, however, these words or actions are really about their source, not you.
What if I woke up tomorrow and everything was perfect?
[magic q]
What if I mattered?
Take a moment and really think about this “what if.”
What if I didnt believe my thoughts were true?
We’re going to let you in on a little secretthey’re not!
What if I knew Id get it all done?
Here’s a hintyou’ll actually get things done faster if you just believe this.
There, we saved you a step.
What if I saw myself as capable?
What if none of it was accidental?
We know, you’re a mastermind.
What if I didnt care if people were judging me?
Another secretmore people are worried that you are judging them than are judging you.
What if I nailed that situation?
Go ahead, believe in someself-efficacy.
It will help you achieve even more.
What if today goes unexpectedly well?
Who’s to say it won’t?
And isn’t it more enjoyable to think that it might?
What if none of this matters in the long run?
It probably doesn’t.
Ask yourself: will this matter in five days, five weeks, five years?
What if I werent afraid to fail?
Instead of wondering “what if I fail,” try thinking that you won’t.
Having them lingering on your mind is usually the more difficult thing.
What if my luck were about to change?
What if I were to see the beauty in this?
What if I looked at what this had to teach me?
What if I looked at this through the eyes of a child?
Think of how you might explain your situation to a child you care about.
What if I looked at this in the eyes of my past self?
What if I chose to believe this would lead me to something great?
What if I stopped trying to change things?
Change is great, but some situations (or people!)
Sometimesaccepting a situationor person for who they are, but altering how we respond, is the bravest thing.
What if all this worry were for naught?
Because it probably is.
Has there ever been a situation in your life where worry actually helped?
What if you could overcome your biggest fear?
But I refused to let my fear of flying get in the way of my going to Australia.
What if it were safe to make a mistake?
This “what if” is a bit more of an assessment.
We’ll admit, it’s not always realistically safe to make a mistake.
(See above and flying!)
But what if you are in a situation where itissafe to make a mistake?
Making non-risky mistakes can take away some of the power from your perfectionism.
What if I took them at face value?
What if I were to get the job?
Research shows that positive thinking and visualization lead to better outcomes in job searches.
What if I were to trust the person?
But what if you’ve found your safe person and youcantrust them?
What if I fly?
This one is my personal favorite, from the poem “Fly” by Erin Hanson.
And you ask, ‘“What if I fall?
“Oh, but my darling,What if you fly?
Already Free: Buddhism Meets Psychotherapy on the Path of Liberation.
Sounds True; 2015.
2009;62(3):553-573.
