or “Is dating someone with kids right for me?”
Dating a single parent isn’t suitable for everyone, and it isn’t something to enter into lightly.
You’ll plan a special outing andboomsomeone gets sick.
Fly View Productions / E+ / Getty Images
Above all else, be respectful of your partner and the children involved.
Be honest about how you feel and what works for you at this stage of your life.
The kids are here to stay.
The question is, are you?
Here are several indicators that dating a single parent might not be a good fit for you right now.
For most of us, jealousy is in our nature.
But when you’redating a single parent, being jealous of the kids will get you nowhere.
(Well, that’s not quite true; it may get you sent out the doorquickly!)
While there aren’t many dating issues that are black-and-white, this is one of them.
If you’re competitive with the kids, you’re setting your relationship up for failure.
How to Handle It
When you experience jealousy, stop and acknowledge the emotion.
Come clean about how you’re feeling and discuss what you value in your relationship.
Then, explore how you might be able to let go of the jealousy.
But this is trickier to accomplish with a single parent.
In reality, spontaneity looks different when children are a part of the mix.
Childcare, including the schedule and needs of the kids, will always be a top priority.
If spontaneity is an absolute must, then you may not do well dating a single parent.
It’s also important to think about the fact that single moms often face considerable stigma and scrutiny.
Your partner is the experienced parent.
It is worth considering if you see compatibility with your partner’s parenting approach, including yourparenting styles.
Generally, it’s important to wait to be asked before sharing your opinion on parenting issues.
(Unless, of course, you’re telling your partner that they’re doing a great job!)
One issue many new couples argue about is how much physical affection to show in front of the kids.
But it’s important to consider how this might make your partner (and the kids) feel.
Respect and be patient with your partner’s timing.
That’s a position neither of you will want to be in for long.
These are big issues that come up fast when dating a single parent.
Becompassionateand honest with yourselfand your partner.
Your feelings aren’t right or wrong.
While either of you could change your mind down the road, there’s no guarantee that you will.
Nixon E, Greene S, Hogan DM.Negotiating relationships in single-mother households: Perspectives of children and mothers.Fam Relat.
2019;28(1):168-181. doi:10.1007/s10826-018-1242-x
American Psychological Association.Making stepfamilies work.
