Research shows that cultivating friendships late into adulthood can help stave off loneliness, depression, and social isolation.
My friendships are especially meaningful because they make up much of mychosen family.
Myfriendsarent just my friends, theyre like siblings.
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While this may sound idyllic, it also means that it can be pretty daunting when conflict arises.
Ultimately, they quit talking to me and, fatigued by attempts to repair, I quit reaching out.
Now, I have a curation of close friendships Im deeply proud of.
There are my tight-knit friendships Ive had for almost 20 years.
There are the newer friends I’ve made more recently.
Oh, and best of all?
Dealbreakers in friendship dont often start off as dealbreakers, she began.
The friendship cracks become hard to ignore.
You have a conversation with your friend about your concerns and issues arise, she continued.
This bang out of response indicates a deep indifference to your feelings.
Plus, Blake brings up a good point.
Her answer provided insight into the power of honesty.
Think along the lines ofdeception, betrayal, disrespect, ora lack of consistent support.
However, she agrees with my initial take thatconflictcant always be avoided.
Rupture and repair is a natural part of any relationship, she shared.
Can A Friendship Be Mended Post Dealbreaker?
Can a friendship be mended after a dealbreaker has occurred?
It certainly can be, but there are some considerations to keep in mind.
Has your friend acknowledged the dealbreaker?
Has a sincereapologyand changed behavior occurred?
Resha encourages folks to ask themselves.
If the answer to both is yes, then theres great evidence that things could be mended.
If not, she recommends taking a hard look at if this is the relationship for you or not.
Blake abides by the old adage thattime heals.
Time can often be a great softener, she explained.
Has your friend acknowledged the dealbreaker?
Has a sincere apology and changed behavior occurred?
But, dont expect things to immediately bounce back to how they were.
Folks dont always make room for how hard it can be to mend a relationship.
And, in the event things cant be mended?
She encourages you to allow yourself space togrieve.
More specifically, I was curious how she feels someone can identify theirboundaries.
She recommends thinking back to situations where youve been hurt by friends in the past.
Consider what boundaries you felt were violated.
Natalie gave the example of a roommate always borrowing your clothes without asking you as an issue.
you might see atherapistfor that.
Some therapists are open to working with friends.
Blakeoffers this service to people living in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Texas.
Blieszner R, Ogletree AM, Adams RG.Friendship in later life: a research agenda.Innov Aging.
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