don’t be shy!
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Remember how easy it was to make friends in elementary school?
And it certainly didn’t hurt that you had daily opportunities to interact with other kids.
Verywell Mind / Getty Images
Once you reach adulthood the same rules don’t apply.
Not to mention thefear of rejectionwhich hits a lot harder than it did when you were a kid.
Cultivating friendships also takes a lot of time, something most of us a short on these days.
Forming meaningful relationships may become harder as you get older, but it’s well worth the effort.
And if you leave your social life up to chance, you probably won’t see results either.
Are You a Likable Person?
Thislikeable person quizwas medically reviewed bySabrina Romanoff, PsyD.
Focus on Being Open
Don’t overthink the process of making friends.
Be open to meeting new people and having new experiences.
Instead, be open and inviting, and see what happens when you expand your horizons.
Make a list of people you might like to hang out with sometimes.
Remember, making friends takes work, and someone needs to take the initiative.
After you have your list, consider extending an invitation for coffee and see what happens.
Put It On the Calendar
Let’s face it.
Decide when you will ask that friend from the office to join you for appetizers after work.
The key is to schedule these initial contacts because you will keep putting them off if you don’t.
Accept Invitations
Yes, you are tired, busy, and over-scheduled.
But if someone invites you to do something, make a run at make it happen!
Of course, if you cannot afford something or are sick, definitely decline the invite.
But make an effort to do something else together instead.
You never know; you might just enjoy these new adventures.
Plus, it will open up the possibility of making friends in new and excitingplaces.
So take an art class or a rock climbing course.
Seek Out New Friends
Part of the challenge of making new friends is knowing where to look.
Too many times, people assume that there are just no potential friends out there.
Leverage Your Social Media Accounts
The purpose of social media is to connect people.
You also can use social media to organize get-togethers.
They give the courtesy wave and immediately close their door, not even trying tostart a conversation.
But there may be some really great friendships waiting for you right next door.
So the next time you are both out, do more than just wave.
Connect With Co-Workers
You spend a large portion of your life with your co-workers.
And even though you are in a professional setting, you likely know a great deal about one another.
For instance, suggest you attend a baseball game together or grab dinner after work.
Or, if you share a passion for something like yoga or cooking, suggest you do it together.
But people do it all the time.
Consider joining a gym or an adult recreational league.
You might have the beginnings of a great friendship in the making.
you might learn about these types of get-togethers through apps like Meetup and Eventbrite.
Your public library or local bookstore is the perfect place to start looking for book clubs near you.
Volunteer
Volunteering your time and energy is a great way to improve your feelings of gratitude.
Maintain Your Friendships
After you have established a few connections, it’s important tostay in contact.
Friendships are like plants.
If you don’t water them regularly, they will die.
So ensure you are regularly reaching out to your new friends.
Call or text consistently just to see how they are doing.
Ask about their lives.
Show an interest in the things that are important to them.
2016;3(4):160097. doi:10.1098/rsos.160097
Fehr B, Harasymchuk C.The role of friendships in well-being.
In Maddux JE, ed.Subjective Well-being and Life Satisfaction.
Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group, 2018.
