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When arelationshipis new, both of you are seeing the world through rose-colored glasses.
Everything is fresh and new.
As you look at each other, you see someone who is exciting and perfect.
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Even the world around you seems brighter and happier than it did before you found each other.
In that new stage of a relationship, its easy to say loving things to each other.
Over time, however, things start to change.
Challenges occur, flaws emerge.
The rose-colored glasses come off and reality sets in.
This is when love begins to morph a bit.
Love takes more effort, but practice makes perfect!
You Look Great
If you say, You look great!
you’reactuallysaying, I’m still physically attracted to you.
Thank you are the two simplest words to say, but also the most important.
When you say this, what you are indeed saying is, I appreciate everything you do for me.
Your partner will feel good that you noticed and took the time to say so.
Its time to vocalize those thoughts.
Tell your partner, I think youre amazing.
But what you say in that moment will have a lasting impact on your relationship.
Research backs the value of forgiveness in mental health.
One study concludes, “Hope may operates through forgiveness to maintain a positive world-view.”
Likewise, this applies not just to actions, but also to characteristics.
When you say you love your partner anyway, you show acceptance of them, faults and all.
John M. Gottman, psychologist and marriage expert, writes: “Most marital arguments cannot be resolved.
Couples spend year after year trying to change each others mindbut it cant be done.
This is because most of their disagreements are rooted in fundamental differences of lifestyle, personality, or values.
By fighting over these differences, all they succeed in doing is wasting their time and harming their marriage.
Strive for acceptance and tolerance.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
The important thing is to verify your partner feels your love through it all.
This kind of resilience is one key to a lasting relationship and often develops through negative experiences.
But if your significant other loves those things, then its time to show your support.
I Understand
When love matures, spouses really get to know each other, inside and out.
We watch each other and notice things over time.
As we experience life together, we find out what makes each other tick.
Perhaps your significant other tells you about a problem with work.
Because of your history together, you know how this makes them feel.
Saying I understand, really says, I get you.
Its a comfort to know that someone gets you without even really having to explain your feelings.
This connection is fundamental to lasting love and marriage.
What Can I Do for You?
One of the most basic definitions of love is putting anothers needs before our own.
give a shot to remember to ask your spouse, What can I do for you?
which says, I want to support you and lessen your burden.
Sacrificing your time for something your spouse needs will strengthen your bond.
Remind your spouse that he or she can always count on you.
Tell them, Im here for you, which actually says, Im your partner in life.
They confirm your care and devotion.
Always ensure your spouse feels appreciated, validated, safe and secure with you.
2022;39(3):261-274. doi:10.1002/crq.21321
