If it’s been a while, you’re not alone.
Marriage doesn’t exactly come with an instruction manual.
Every marital relationship is unique, and each one faces its own challenges.
S. Meltzer / Getty Images, PhotoLink
However, there are common signs suggesting that you are havingmarriage problems.
It’s important that both you and your spouse feel heard, supported, and secure within the relationship.
At a Glance
Every marriage has an ebb and flow.
By recognizing some common warning signs, you’ll be better prepared to take steps to fix the problem.
The other three are contempt,defensiveness, andstonewalling.
Of course, expressing your feelings to your partner is healthy if something they didtriggers you.
But what you say and how you say it matters.
I can’t believe you left your dirty laundry on the floor.
You’re so messy and annoying.
You hang out with your stupid friends more than you hang out with me.
You’re so selfish.
I feel stressed when I see your dirty laundry on the bedroom floor.
Can you help me out?
I feel unloved when we don’t make time for each other.
Can we talk about changing that?
Marriages thrive onhealthy expressions of intimacyand that doesn’t always mean sex.
However, intimacy doesn’t have to mean sex.
You Constantly Have the Same Argument
Arguments happen in every marriage, even healthy ones.
You may even start avoiding each other to avoid another argument.
But it’s important to feel like your partner listens to you and understands your point of view.
Withouthealthy communication, day-to-day frustrations and concerns can turn into bottled-up resentments.
Ask yourself why you don’t want to spend time with your spouse.
Do you argue whenever you spend too much time together?
Have you grown apart?
If you’reconstantly lying to your spouse, investigate why you’re doing this.
Are you unhappy in the relationship but afraid of how they’d respond if you told them?
Do you not trust them with certain pieces of information?
Keeping secrets only plants seeds of distrust in a relationship.
Once that trust is broken, it is hard to repair.
After all, entering a relationship doesnt switch off your normal biological functioning.
Instead, try spending this time working through the issues with your spouse.
It’s important to seek help right away if you are living in a home wheredomestic violencetakes place.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Here are some things you’re able to do to fix a struggling marriage.
verify this time is reserved for sharing feelings.
Try not to dismiss what your spouse is saying, butreally listen to them.
They should do the same for you.
It can also prevent minor issues from turning into bigger ones.
Set Boundaries
Healthy relationshipshave boundaries.
With their help, you and your partner can identify and change unhealthy patterns andrediscover feelings of love.
Takeaways
Even happy marriages go through challenging times.
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American Psychological Association.Happy couples: How to keep your relationship healthy.
Jaffe ME, Douneva M.Secretive and close?
How sharing secrets may impact perceptions of distance.PLoS One.
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doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0236145
Ahluwalia H, Anand T, Suman LN.Marital and family therapy.Indian J Psychiatry.
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